WRITTEN IN THE STARS

family

Jimin held me tightly in his arms, stroking the top of my head softly as I cried. His own tears fell on my skin as he looked down at our baby in my arms.

"Welcome home, MinJae." Jimin whispers as he brings his finger to MinJae's cheek and stroked it softly.

I smile at my baby boy and hold him closer to my chest. As much as I wanted to hold him in my arms, my body was tired and my eyes felt heavy.

"Let's count his toes again." I smiled at our baby.

Jimin laughed and nodded his head as he uncovered MinJae's toes from the blanket. The tip of my finger tapped the top of his toes as he counted out loud.

"All eleven toes." Jimin teased to which I giggled.

"Ten." I corrected playfully. Jimin smiled and squeezed me tighter. He noticed my pain and tiredness, so he pulled away from me.

"I'll take him. You rest, my love." Jimin whispered as he took MinJae from my hands.

"Let me wait for them." I whisper as I hand our baby to Jimin.

Jimin shushed my softly, rocking our boy in his arms. "I'll wake you up. You've been through a lot and you need rest."

I failed as I tried staying awake. Sleep took over and I slept for the rest of the night.

*

I woke up to the sound of Jimin's giggles. My eyes fluttered open I squinted my eyes at the morning sun shine upon me from the window. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I scanned the room for Jimin and found him seated on the couch with MinJae.

Jimin held him in his arms, giggling at MinJae. A smile fell on lips as I watched them quietly from my bed.
Perhaps it was all the hormones kicking in, but I began to cry.

I fell asleep soon after I had my baby, and I felt like I had missed everything.

My sobs caught Jimin's attention and a worried expression fell on his lips immediately after he stopped laughing. He placed MinJae in his incubator and ran to my side, cupping my cheeks in his hands.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked worriedly. "What hurts? Tell me!"

He grew impatient when I didn't answer and just cried.

"I'm a bad mother." I cried at the pain in my chest from thinking about how little attention I put to my baby.

Jimin sighed out of relief and chuckled softly. "Molly, you're not-"

"I fell asleep. What kind of mother falls asleep after giving birth? I held him for two minutes and then I gave gave him to you. I should have-"

"Stop!" Jimin's voice was demanding, getting me to stop sobbing.

He took a deep breath as he sucked in some air. Jimin's eyes softened as he look at me, holding my cheeks while brushing away my tears.

"Molly, do remember the situation you were in? The doctors said your body could barely take the delivery and it was a miracle you made it through consciously and safely. You could have not made it, but you're so strong and here you are."

Tears continued to flow down my cheeks as memories of last night came back into my mind. The way Jimin cried and held my hand when the doctors ran around the room as they gathered help and medication to keep my going. He was so confused. No matter how many times they explained the danger I was in, he was still confused and cried in fear of losing us. I remember the pain between my legs as I pushed and pushed with all I had despite feeling like I could pass out at any given moment. And finally the moment our baby was placed into my hands. The storm had ended and a pretty rainbow casted it colors over us.

Jimin kisses my forehead, breaking me out of my thoughts. "You're so strong, Molly. You're not a bad mother."

I sniffled, nodding my head at his words with a pout. "Why are you calling me Molly? You sound like you're mad at me."

Jimin laughed, nodding his head before placing his smiling lips to my forehead.

"My love, do you want to hold him?" He asked as he stood up. I nodded as I tried sitting up on my bed, wincing at the pain and soreness between my legs.

Jimin gently placed MinJae in my hands before sliding into the bed next to me.

"Do you want to count his fingers and toes again?" He asked.

I giggled, nodding my head eagerly. His tiny, chubby toes were squished together, making it look like he had more than ten toes. But when we counted for the fourth time, he still had ten toes and ten fingers.

His beautiful almond eyes were still shut, but his lips would curl at the sound of our voices when we spoke to him.

"Did the boys come?" I asked Jimin.

"No, no one was allowed since you were still being monitored." Jimin answered softly.

"It was that bad?" I asked, feeling worried and scare inside.

Jimin nodded softly, letting out a sigh. "Yes, but you're alive and safe. That's what matters. You both are."

"What does this mean?"

"What?

I sighed, kissing MinJae's forehead as I held him tighter. My heart stung, but the boy I held in my arms and the man holding us were giving me strength.

"Will I be able to give MinJae a sister?"

"Baby," Jimin whispered, kissing the top of my head. "let's focus on one baby at a time, okay?"

I remember saying that to him.

But hearing those words come from him hurt in a way I never thought they would. Did the doctors tell him I couldn't?

Jimin wants more, but can I gave him that?

MinJae cooed in my arms, placing his hand on chest and I smiled down at him. My thoughts were washed away with his beauty and Jimin's comfort.

"He's our boy, Jimin."

"I love you both."

||

a.n

So kind of a happy and sad chapter

Molly is a first time mother and is scared

She also had a difficult labor

Difficult labors happen for many reasons and it puts a lot of stress on women's body.

Luckily, she made it but now she fears that her body might not be strong enough for more babies in the future