SLOW BURN

19. i don't want to

We say goodbye and then hang up. I take a deep breath then reach for a bag and begin to pack some clothes.

"Going to Newport?" Cassie asks when she sees me walking out of my room with a bag.

I smile. "Yep. Need to get away."

"Have fun!" She calls after me.

"Will try!"

I lock the door behind me then head to my car. It's just past six in the evening. The sun is going down but it's not dark yet. Inside my car, I consider calling Josh. I haven't spoken to him since last night. It feels weird. Is he mad at me? He should be. I know I should have stepped up to defend him. I swallow my pride and give him a call.

"Hey." He answers.

"Hey, are you busy?"

"We're on our way to answer a call. I got a few minutes." There's some background noise on his end.

"I just wanted to let you know I won't be able to go over tomorrow. I have to cover the inn for my parents."

"Oh." He pauses. "Alright."

I bite my lip. "It has nothing to do with what happened yesterday. My mom just called me a few minutes ago."

"It's okay. I understand."

There's a moment of silence. I don't really know what else to say. I feel that I can't say anything that'll make him feel better.

"Listen-I gotta go. Drive safe, let me know when you get there okay?" He finally breaks the silence.

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

I put my phone down and look at the screen, feeling sad. I was so excited for tomorrow to arrive and now all our plans are ruined and things aren't okay between us anymore. I sigh then turn on the car and begin to drive.

I blast Queen and sing along like a heartbroken, miserable teenage girl as I drive to Newport. All I needed was the rain and the drama would have been complete. I wonder if it was wrong of me to come? I couldn't say no to my mom. She needed me. She rarely asks me to work in the inn, Savannah is usually the one who works when Mom and Dad can't. I know I would have come whether what happened Thursday would have happened or not.

It's around nine when I arrive at the inn. I park then grab my bag and head inside. The sound of the waves is already making me feel better. The lights are on inside. The bells on the door ring when I pull it open and Savannah walks out of the kitchen as I'm closing the door. "It's just me," I say.

"Hey." Savannah smiles then walks to me and hugs me. "I was just finishing the kitchen. Come."

I follow her into the kitchen and she walks to the sink and continues washing the dishes. Being in the kitchen and watching Savannah washing dishes reminds me of Josh, of course.

"How's it going?" Savannah asks. "You don't look happy to be here." She laughs.

"No, I am." I tell her. "Sorry, I just-" I sigh.

She turns to look at me. "It's Josh, isn't it?"

I sit down in one of the bar stools and rest my chin on my hand. "It's everything. We almost got caught by Brad on Thursday at Clint's birthday party."

"What?" She asks looking shocked. She sets the last plate on the dish stand and shuts the water off. "Were you guys...?" She asks drying her hands.

"No. We probably would have if Brad wouldn't have interrupted."

"I told you you two needed to be more careful," she says disapprovingly.

"I know. I just-he kisses me and I forget everything. I don't care about anything when I'm with him."

"Maybe you should stop seeing him," Savannah says quietly.

I look at her with a pained look on my face. "I don't want to."

"I don't know what to tell you then."

I take a deep breath. "I think I'm going to bed. You need any help? How many guests are here?"

"Just three. They're all checking out tomorrow though. Tomorrow should be a slow day." She reaches for my hand and squeezes it. "Go to sleep. We'll talk some more tomorrow."

"Thank you," I say standing up. "Goodnight."

"Night."

I swear sometimes it feels like she's the oldest. I know I should probably listen to her but I also know that I'm not. I'm not going to stop seeing Josh...unless he doesn't want to see me anymore. I hope he still does.

I walk to my bedroom and drop everything on the ground and kick off my shoes before throwing myself on the bed. I lay there and look up at the ceiling, thinking about the last time Josh and I were here. I close my eyes and try to relieve it...wishing he was here with me tonight.

Please comment & vote!