SLOW BURN

19. i don't want to

Oh my God.

Did Crystal just save me?

I feel like I could hug her right now.

I look at Louisa and she is beaming, obviously happy to think that Josh and Crystal are together. It's what she's wanted since before he came back. I look at Crystal who is casually eating chips as if she just didn't throw a major bomb on everyone. Then I look at Josh. He's looking at me. I hope he can read the apology in my eyes.

"Oh, I knew it!" Gunner says as if he just won a bet. He probably did.

Brad smirks. "Alright. Guess you're my sister-in-law now, Crystal. Welcome to the family." He puts her arm around her shoulders and Crystal shrugs him off.

I can't stand here any longer. "Nice seeing everyone. Goodnight." I manage to say looking at the floor.

"Bye, sweetie," Louisa says behind me.

I almost run out of the building. What a disaster. All because Josh and I couldn't be more responsible. I'm so frustrated with myself. I'm really bothered by the fact that I seem to lose sense whenever I'm with Josh. Whenever he kisses me, I forget about everything else and that's not always a good thing. Tonight is a good example of that. I can't lose control like that. Not when what I'm doing is wrong.

I get in my car and drive back to my apartment feeling disappointed with myself. I've come to the conclusion that Josh and I really can't be around each other with people we know around us. Everything is so much easier when it's just him and I alone. We need to keep it like that. That's the only way this could work.

I have a hard time going to sleep. Even after crying. I don't have a good day at work the next day. I'm moody and tired and sleepy. I'm sure my face sends that memo to everyone because nobody bothers me.

When I get home Friday evening, I have a call from my mom. I'm not in the mood but I know I have to answer because well, she's my mom.

"I heard you went to Clint's birthday celebration on Thursday. How was it?"

"Fun," I say trying to smile to sound enthusiastic.

"Good to hear." She pauses. "I was calling to see if you could cover the inn this weekend."

I frown. "What do you mean? Where are you going?"

"Your dad and I had planned a trip to Washington this weekend. Savannah had agreed to cover for us but she was asked to cover at work tomorrow night. We already have the plane tickets so I wanted to see if you could come over and cover tomorrow night? You could come over tonight. Savannah will be here."

My heart sinks. Seriously? If this isn't a sign from the universe then I don't know what this is. I can't ignore this anymore. I feel disappointed at first but then I think about the beach and spending time with my sister and I feel a bit better. I could talk to her about everything that's going on.

"It's very slow. We don't have any scheduled guests for tomorrow. You won't have to do anything," my mom continues in Spanish.

"It's okay, Mom, I'll do it." I sigh. "I think I could use the trip."

"Oh! Thank you so much, baby. I promise I'll make it up to you."

"You don't have to, Mom. When do you and dad leave?"

"In about two hours. Should I tell Savannah you're coming?"

"Yeah. I'll pack a bag and head over in a few minutes. Have fun."

"Thank you, sweetie. Cualquier cosa me llamas."

"Yes, I'll call you if we need anything," I say.