The Works (Affairs of the Heart)

Chapter 19

Brian's P.O.V.

After leaving Freddie behind in the bathroom crying, I felt bad for what I did to him. And yes he probably deserved it, but I still should've acted properly towards him. However, I must admit me acting like a wild animal towards him only justifies the burning passion I still feel for him.

Having him look all fucked out and vulnerable, I was tempted to fuck him right then and there. But, I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction not after what he did to me. He needs to suffer some more for the consequences of his actions.

Do I forgive Freddie. Yes I forgive him, but I'll never forget what he did. That's why I've acted so coldly towards him. He fucking deserves it.

Nevertheless, I told him I was back with Chrissie which was a lie because I knew that it would hurt him. I knew it would make him feel like shit because he doesn't like her. So I was just giving him a taste of his own medicine that's all. Call it tit for tat, but it was the only way to make him see how badly he hurt me.

Freddie needs to understand that he just can't fuck around on people and think he can get away it. His charms and unequivocal sensuality will be the death of him if he doesn't take control of it now. I mean he prides himself on being unashamedly sexy and cunning which he damn well is, but I would hate to see him lost because he couldn't control his need for sexual attention. I know how Freddie is. He likes to fuck a lot. Our whole relationship was surrounded by sex and any sexual adventure we could get ourselves into which I don't have a problem with. But when he started cheating on me, that's where I draw the fucking line. I simply will not tolerate being made a fool of anymore.

Hopefully, Freddie will change his ways. He needs to take the necessary steps to not only becoming a better person but to becoming a better man. It would only be then that I even consider taking a chance on us again. Until then our relationship as lovers or possible friends will be dead to me forever.

Right now, I just walked back into Miami's room to say goodbye to everyone. I know John was quite angry with me for my recent behavior and I apologized to him for it. Thankfully, he accepted. I also apologized to Miami's family as well. I noticed Roger in the corner of the room with his head down. He's too ashamed to look at me his best friend and he should be. Let him stew in his own juices for all I care. It's going to be a long time before I speak to him properly again. He too needs to suffer the consequences for what he's done.

"Hey John. I just came back in to say goodbye to everyone," I muttered while motioning for him to step outside. I wanted to talk to him alone.

"Oh your leaving?," he asked puzzled while walking me out of the room.

"Yeah. I have to go pick my kids up from Chrissie's mother's house. I'll be back tomorrow," I explained to him while placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Brian. You plan on fixing this situation with Freddie and Roger?" he asked quietly and is probably concerned for the fate of our band. Which is understandable, but I'm still not sure about my feelings as of yet.

"Well John. I can't give you a definite answer right now, but just give me some more time," was all I could offer as a proper answer to him. I'm not in the right frame of mind to make any kind of decisions. I simply need more time to figure things out. I hope he understands that.

"Ok, well don't take too long Bri. We still have a lot of work to do on our latest album. I know you guys are in the midst of serious falling out, but business is business and that's what's important," he exclaimed sternly with a boss like attitude and I felt quite taken aback by his show of stepping up and taking charge. I like it. Somebody needs to take over this mess we're all in and what better than Deaky to do it. He's been the only sane one out of the lot of us these past few weeks.

What John said was the truth. My differences need to be put aside for the sake of millions of people counting on us to deliver what we've been giving to them for years. I know we still have a great deal of work to do, but I just need to figure out how I'm going to do that along with Freddie and Roger. I need time which we don't have placing me in a position that I don't want to be in. Either way, when I make my decision regarding my affairs with the band, John will be the only person I think of. He doesn't deserve to suffer because we can't get our shit together. It just isn't fair to him.

"I know John. I'll consider everything you've proclaimed. But right now I really need to go and get my kids. Chrissie will kill me if I'm late," I half chuckled while patting John's shoulder and taking small steps to get ready to leave. He yelled out to me as I was walking away.

"Remember what I said Brian. Think about what's important," he exclaimed and then he went back into Miami's room.

"I will John, " is what I yelled back to him and then I made my way out of the hospital to go and pick up my kids. John Deacon you may have just saved our band.