In Too Deep

Two

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His heart stopped.

He wasn't breathing.

He hadn't breathed for two minutes now. One minute he had been breathing, and the next thing she knew, he wasn't.

Nova had grasped him by the shoulders, fear clutching at her heart, and she shook him briskly, shouting at him to wake up; to breathe so that she was assured she hadn't killed him. Assured that she had done everything right by the internet, and it wasn't her fault. He couldn't die. Not at her hands.

There was so much blood. She hadn't been fast enough. Panic had played a vital role when she was getting the bullet out from his shoulder. She had been shaken up by the blood that kept flowing down his chest, staining her hands and clothes. So much blood had made her froze, had made her hands shook. Nova should have stopped to calm down, but she hadn't. She had continued despite knowing her state of mind was something to look out for. And now, now she had killed Ghost. If the gunshot wound hadn't killed him, she definitely had.

Despite her mind screaming, Nova tilted Ghost's back and tried to look for breathing again. There was none. She pushed her fear down as she put her hands on the center of his rock hard chest and pushed hard and fast. She has had CPR training before, back when she was in medical school.

Without any thought into it, she leaned down to his face and pulled his mouth open, pressing her lips to his and feeling his cold and soft one. He tasted like honey. But that wasn't what was on her mind. She can do it. He has to breathe. He has to survive.

Nova continued her chest compressions, pinching his nose shut and covering her mouth with his to blow breath to him, but there was nothing. She wanted to scream. She didn't. She put all her weight straight down into his chest and watched to see if his chest rose. It didn't. She repeated the CPR again, telling herself that he was going to survive. She needed him to survive.

When she was on the verge of collapsing, Ghost choked out a breath, but his eyes were still closed. Nova almost gasped out a sob, relieved that he was alive. She had saved him. He wasn't dead. Yet his eyes were still closed. She didn't care. Until she was sure his chest was rising and falling, Nova took a step back and stared down at him while covering her mouth with her open palm.

For some reason, she wanted to cry. She needed the relief crying always brought to people. This was the first time she had thought she could lose him. She almost did, and the knowledge was like a slap to her face. What would Nova have done if he had? What would have happened to her if he didn't show up and his friends came looking? Would she be breathing? No, she was sure they would kill her for killing him. She was sure of it. They were dangerous men, and Nova wasn't exactly sure she wanted to be part of it anymore.

She wanted out.

This had shaken her to the core. She didn't want to do this anymore. She didn't want to play doctor for a criminal. Was she crazy in the first place to accept a job she hadn't been given a chance to decline? This, Ghost being her dirty little secret felt dirtier than ever. She somewhat felt like a criminal herself. All her life, Nova had been living a quiet life. Nothing about her life was special. She had a few friends, but never a close friend she could confide in. Most of her senior year, she had gone through it with her head down. She had never thought she would find herself in this situation. Teenage Nova would have kicked her for being so foolish. For treading on a dangerous path.

But it wasn't too late. She could still say no. She could go back to living her quiet life again. Nova could not even bring herself to touch him again, to risk it.