Losing my Best Friend

Chapter 20

Scott's P.O.V.

I don't know how or why but that morning I woke up in Mitch's bed. His arms were wrapped around me, pulling me close to his body. His head attached to my chest. I couldn't even remember getting home lat night. The only thing I remembered from last night was me telling Mitch he was the only one that could take my mind off of things. The rest of the night is kind of a blur. All though I did kind of remember getting in a car. But how I ended up in Mitch's bed, I don't know.

I mean it's not like I hadn't woken up next to him before but this time seemed different. For one thing he was holding me like I had been crying. Did I cry last night? I don't even know what time I woke up when we were in the recording studio.

We were also fully clothed so I don't think it was anything to do with alcohol. But why can't I remember what happened?

I felt Mitch stir beside me. He tried to turn over but found his arm stuck under my body. I lifted my body slightly and moved his arm out from underneath me. In my attempt to not wake him, I flung my hand back and hit the bedside table. "Ouch!" Mitch's eyes flew open and  his head snapped up. "Are you alright?" He said almost automatically. It seemed as though I had heard that question more times than I could count since I got home. "Yeah I just hit my hand. I didn't want to wake you."

Mitch looked at me almost disbelievingly. "Why am I in your bed?" The words tumbled out of my mouth without me even thinking. "Don't you remember?" I shook my head. "You wouldn't let go of me. I didn't want to leave you but I-" He stopped very abruptly. His face turned a sickly shade of  green. "But you what?" "I- I c-can't sleep in your bed."

What was so bad about that? I didn't care. Why did he look so sick and why did he stutter? I looked at him blankly. I didn't understand.

Mitch's P.O.V.

He didn't understand. He still doesn't know how I feel about him. And now that we've started to talk again I don't want to ruin anything. The truth was that if I slept in his bed I would be sleeping where Alex had slept and- and... I couldn't even think about it.

I briskly got out of bed. I had to move, I couldn't sit here and think about that. I looked at my phone, 10 am. Ugh!

"I'm going to Starbucks. You wanna come?" I said. Pulling a clean shirt over my head. Scott shook his head. I was kind of glad because I wanted to be left to my own thoughts. But I knew why he didn't want to come with me: he felt bad. He felt bad that I had to stay with him last night. He still doesn't see himself worth staying with.

I began to walk down the street, aware of every step I took. Last night was probably more like hell than real life. flashback... When we reached the lake I looked at my phone, 4 am. I knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon. Scott and I began to talk. He started to talk to me about Alex and how he left him that note. How he broke up with him. Then why he came for me that night. Because he relied on me and I was always there for him and that's why he said my name in his sleep and that's why Alex broke up with him. He said he didn't know why he blamed me. He told me he was sorry. He told me that he was an idiot.

We then decided to go back home. Scott fell asleep in the car. I had to wake him up when we got home, which I always hated doing. I always felt bad because he needed sleep for he didn't get a lot at night and he needed to get sleep when he could.

I pulled him up the stairs and into our apartment. I climbed into my bed and snuggled under the covers. I was soon woken by the sound of screams. And so it began. These screams were slightly different though. They were more blood curdling than ever. I ran into his bedroom. He wasn't there. The screams suddenly stopped. I walked around the apartment looking for him. "Scott!" I shouted. I was answered by a painful moan coming from the bathroom. I went in there to find him sitting on the floor, blade in hand. Blood was dripping onto the floor and tear streaming down his cheeks. I grabbed the blade out of his hand and ran to the kitchen. I got a huge wad of bandage and disinfectant wipes. Hoping he hadn't cut too deep. I ran back to him sitting on the floor. The blood was pooling on the floor. I bent down and began to clean the cuts. I knew what to do here. I used to cut when I was in high school. I wrapped them tightly in bandages and then got a sweater from his bedroom. I pulled it over his head.

I knew what he did now. He blocked out the bad stuff, so much that he would forgot what happened. I knew he wouldn't be able to remember what happened when he woke up. Hopefully he wouldn't realize what had happened before I got to telling him.

The rest of the night I held onto him in my bed while he cried into my chest only falling asleep when I was sure he had finally gotten to sleep. It must of been 8:30 by then. end flashback

I need to do something about this. We can do this every night forever. The cutting is what took me over the edge. He tried to kill himself. It must be so bad in his head. But there was nothing I could do about it. If I told a professional about what was going on he would never trust me again. I don't think I'd be able to trust a professional again either. I also still didn't know anything about when he was in the hospital. I knew I would know soon though. I could tell that both of us had something to say.

A/N

Hey hey! This was really difficult to write. I had a serious case of writers block and didn't know how to word anything but here is your update.

hope you enjoyed comment/vote/share/tell a friend

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