Behind Closed Doors

Nine

My hearts thumping, I haven't heard this voice in two months. I pause. I didn't expect him to answer. Fuck. What do I say now?

"Uh hey, I've been thinking about you. How are you?"

The other side of the line goes silent for a second. I try to listen to the background to try and figure out where he's at. All I can hear is the loud music playing in the background. Kevin Gates of course. That's all Tye really listens to, besides his own crappy music. He sighs and replies, "Yeah, Liz. I'm good. Is this why you called me? This it?"

I sit there. He acts like I'm an annoyance to talk to. It really confuses me why he treats me like this when I was nothing but good to him. While he abused me. I think that's why it hurts me so much.

"I..I..I..." I try to muster something out. Fuck, say something dude.

CLICK

Well, that's that then. I guess that tells me everything I really need to know. Throwing my face into the pink body pillow on my bed, I start crying. Adoption would be the best idea. It's obvious Tye doesn't give a shit at all about the baby or me. He didn't even ask how I've been. Or how the doctor visits have been. He still doesn't know were having a boy. Maybe everyone else is right. I know for a fact in my heart Lena would give Zeke the best life possible. Hell, when I was pregnant with Acen we had considered adoption just because it was so soon after Leon. She was going to be who he went to. As bad as it sounds, I'm not really attached to this pregnancy anyways. I think back to the one time I asked Tye to take me to the bookstore so I could buy some books. I had gotten a gift card and needed to update my reading list anyways. On the car ride there, we got into it about something.

"Shut the fuck up Tye. You're always talking shit and it's annoying as fuck." Looking out the car window, I feel Tye's fingers tangle into my bun. Yanking my head slowly, but hard, he pulls me towards him. "Bitch, do not ever talk to me like that again. I'll kill us both." Scoffing, I respond, "Go. Fuck. Yourself." Tye then tosses my head into the window. My cheek bounces off the window, so I turn around and punch him right in the eye. Tye starts choking me and rips the necklace I have on, off. It was a Mother's Day present. I'm crying immediately. I'm not even mad that I'm hurt, I'm pissed that he really broke this necklace. Like fucking really? Piece of shit.

I think of shit like that all the time. All the times he's done things to me. I try to ponder why he did, but if I spent all my free time doing that, I would go crazy. There isn't a logical explanation as to why he does what he does. He's just fucking crazy. I know what I need to do for Zeke and it really breaks my heart. The thought of carrying a child for nine months and then giving him to someone else is devastating. But, the positive is that I know Lena and Haley would take great care of him. They'd give him everything he could ever want and more. I go ahead and decide to message my mom on Facebook and let her know that I'm ready to do this. Let's get this ball rolling. If I keep Zeke, he won't have a father and I will struggle. He won't have the family Leon and Acen has so he won't understand it. The thought makes my heart break into a thousand pieces. This is all bullshit.

We start planning the adoption immediately. Lena has to fly back to Arizona to get back with Haley, so we exchange numbers and stay in contact on Facebook. She checks in with me every day. She even offered to fly out when I have doctor appointments. That's more than what the actual father is offering. Lena is constantly sending me pictures of nursery ideas and all the clothes she wants to buy him. Zeke is going to be so lucky to be with a family who loves him like this. He is going to live the dream. I cry every time she sends me something new. Only because it is all bittersweet.

I'll never forget the day Tye caught wind of the adoption, though. I'm taking it he found out I was having a boy and the adoption all in one, because he snapped. It was a beautiful day out in the middle of February, oddly enough, and I was walking the downtown canal with Abi. I was about seven months pregnant at this time. Tye hadn't been around so things have been quiet. We were walking right next to the blue-green water when we heard a loud, "HEY" being yelled behind us. The voice was distinct. Abi and I glance at each other and begin to walk a little faster. We aren't too far from the stairs that lead back up to the street, so if we just get there we will be okay. It's about 7 O'clock on a Saturday. The sun will be down soon. We HAVE to get out of here. I look over my shoulder and see Tye sprinting at us. For a bigger guy, he can move pretty fast. He looks like an angry rhino. His all black attire and his hair blowing in the wind. God, I get gross chills anytime I see him. Tye disgusts me.

"Bitch, get the fuck over here now!!"

I start screaming at Abi. She isn't hugely pregnant, she can go get help faster. "Go Abi, get help! I can't move that fa.."

SNATCH

I feel the palm of his hand grab a fistful of hair and pull backwards. My body smacks the ground so hard that I instantly start hearing ringing in my ears. My head hit first, and I bent my wrist back trying to catch myself. Pain shoots through the back of my skull down to my wrist. Great. This is just fucking great. I can see Abi standing at the top of the stairs. She's waving her arms around like crazy and pointing towards where we are on the canal. Oh thank you, my sweet dear sister. Please save me. Tye is standing over me now, and he begins screaming immediately. "So, you're going to give MY SON up for adoption bitch? MY FIRST SON." He bellows. I try to stand back up but he snatches the back of my hair again. "Sit the fuck down bitch, you aren't going anywhere."

BAM

Tye yanks back on the pile of hair in his hands and my body smacks the ground again. I can't do anything else besides cry. I can't get up and run away. I can't protect myself. There are people standing on the canal now, just staring. What the fuck? Someone help me. My ears are ringing from the constant impact of hitting the ground. Of course, there are piles of my hair lying all around me.

"HEY, LEAVE HER ALONE!!!"

Tye doesn't even look up. He's kneeled right next to me, breathing heavily. I can smell his rank breathe. His breathe always smells like death. It's so fucking gross. Tye mutters, "Fuck off, before I do the same shit to you."

"Go ahead buddy and fucking try. I dare you."

Tye glances up and is met by a police officer. That's who's been yelling at him. Thank fucking god. About time. Tye stands up and starts running up the other end of the canal. The officer has his gun drawn, and as he runs past me he stops and taps me quickly on the shoulder. "Sit tight Miss, help is on the way." It almost seems like every time he does this to me, nobody is ever there to save me on time. Sobbing, I put my face into my hands. This is so embarrassing. I feel a loving embrace and open my eyes to see Abi's glass blue eyes looking into mine. She's crying too. My poor sister. Constantly thrown into this shit show anytime she's with me. We don't even say anything she just holds me as I cry into her lap. I hear an ambulance in the distance, so I know we will be leaving shortly. I really hope Zeke is okay.