HeartBEAT

Chapter thirty-six

"Alec- you have to wake up, dude.", Magnus whispered. "What the hell?", Alec sighed. "You literally begged me to wake you up before practise. Don't you remember?" Alec groaned:" Crap, yes, I'm sorry." Magnus frowned:", Alec, is everything okay? You are acting kind of weird." Alec nodded:" Yes." Then he started massaging his temples. His headache got a little better, but it still wasn't gone by far. "You sure? You don't look okay, Alec. Please be honest." Alec sighed. "I just have a headache, it's fine." "Still? Alec, what did you do? Did you fall, or were you hit or..." " I didn't fall and I wasn't hit. I am just not used to parties, you know?", Alec interrupted. Then, Magnus sat down onto his bed. "Alec- the party. Did you drink anything? I mean alcohol." Alec shook his head immediately, which he regretted right afterwards: "No. I mean, I know painkillers and alcohol doesn't go well together." "Are you sure? Alec, think. And the symptoms you are showing up seem very typical for that." Alec leant back and closed his eyes- he couldn't remember anything but drinking coke. "Crap.", He cursed," I let Underhill get me a drink. Man, I didn't think about it at all!" Magnus sighed: „I told you. It was an alcoholic drink, probably. Gosh, you scared the crap out of me, Alec." Alec winced:" I am sorry. I just really try not to think too much about my knee." Magnus rolled his eyes:" Well, maybe you should! This is a serious injury, Alec. Don't underestimate it." Alec sighed:" I get it. I just try to avoid feeling like a cripple." Magnus stroke Alec's arm." Hey, listen to yourself. You are not a cripple. You are injured, and that doesn't mean you are weak or something.", Magnus tried to explain but Alec interrupted him:" Mags! I might not be weak, but that's the way I am feeling about this. There is nothing I can do- just wait. See the others get better and better, see everyone living their lives, and then there's me, who needs to be walked to his room because of a talk to Jonathan." "ALEC!", Magnus exclaimed," Slow down. That wasn't just a talk. He would have injured you again. Raphael did the right thing- you have been helping others your whole entire life, but it is okay to let others take care of yourself. Once." Alec rolled his eyes:" The thing is- I know you will deny it, but it is a fact. I am burdening you. My whole family, all my friends, my boyfriend- everyone who I care about suffers because of me!" Magnus started to sweat. "Alec. You are not burdening any of us. We all want you to be healthy and happy and we all are ready to sacrifice a lot for that. Alec, we care about you, we love you. Pushing us away doesn't make it less painful. You know, it's a horrible feeling to see you that way, but it would be even worse knowing no one is helping you." "Magnus- Raphael had to carry me home from that party, Simon and Maia are defending me in front of Jonathan all the time, you got home earlier because of me. My sister is worrying about me, she is driving all the way to get here to me, because I was not able to move my ass from this bed. Do you even know how that is feeling like?" Magnus nodded: "I know. Just don't push us away when things get tough."

Magnus managed to convince Alec to stay home for one more day, but when he got to training, he couldn't focus on anything but Alec. "Magnus?", Kaelie asked, "Mags? Maggie? Chicken MagNugget? Hello?" "Kaelie, stop." She rolled her eyes: "Magnus, I am being serious. This duet will be forty percent of our final mark, that's a lot." Magnus shrugged:" I know. I have been paying attention, Kaelie." "Apparently, you're not.", She snapped, "Magnus, concentrate! If we will fail this duet, or let's rather say if we make it a little worse than absolutely stunning, were screwed." "Kaelie, slow down. We have plenty of time. In total training hours- seventy. We can do this." "Not if we don't get our asses going now! Magnus, we have to come up with an incredible duet which we have to be able to perform. No offence, but that will take some time. You are not in your perfect shape right now. Neither am I." "What is that supposed to mean?", Magnus snapped. "It means that you have been putting a lot of physical energy into all practices and into extra-practice. Magnus, you are exhausted, even a blind one-year old baby can tell. And mentally, you are never here. What's wrong?" Magnus sighed. She was right, as much as that hurt to admit. He was exhausted. His only rest was when- he didn't have any rest. When he was training, he was working his butt off to do the best he was capable off. The rest of the time, which wasn't much, he was bracing Alec or cleaning the room, or doing any other things usually Alec did but Magnus didn't want him to do under these conditions. And mentally he had one topic: Alec. All the time. When he slept, he dreamed of him. When he trained, he thought of him. He was with him all the time, if not in real, then mentally. It was exhausting. "Kaelie, you're right. I am exhausted. You cannot believe how much I need a break. But I can't. Not with the competition and the training and Alec going on all at the same time." "I understand.", She nodded, "but you have to slow down. Alec will understand, that's for sure." Magnus nodded:" I know. And that is the problem- he rejects my help, but seeing him suffering is worse than any physical pain I have ever been in. Kaelie, I see his soul and his body breaking. That's nothing I wish even for my worst enemy."