Like I'm Going To Lose You

Chapter Nineteen:

"Love isn't something that you find. Love is something that finds you."

Loretta Young

Aaron's Viewpoint:

The sheer fact that Missy was awake and freed me from the hold that she had over me was something that I never felt before. I don't know if it was freeing or something along the lines of the relief that I felt, but I never thought that she would be so willing to let me go.

I was now sitting down in one of the chairs that was right outside of the room that she was in. I was the only one here, but there was soon a familiar figure that was walking down the hallway towards me. I knew who it was, but I wasn't going to look over at him. 

I waited until he sat down to acknowledge who he was which he did quietly and quickly.

"Gibbs, it's been a while. Coming to slap some sense into me," I joked. 

"Maybe I should especially after what I learned from the guy that Missy was with in WITSEC. He made it sound like you were being the stupid one to move on from her," Gibbs said.

I laughed slightly knowing full well how Gibbs got that information and how he would use to knock some sense into me. But I also know that he would do anything for Missy as well.

"Gibbs..." I began to say before he silenced me with a finger.

"Hurt her again, you are going to get more than a slap to the back of the head. Understood?" Gibbs questioned. 

I nodded and that was when he stood back up and turned towards me slightly and looked down at me and I looked up at him. 

"Be careful with her. She has had a lot of trauma to go through. I would suggest waiting on being with her again to make sure that she is in the right head space to do so. But you should do the same as well," said Gibbs as he then nodded before walking away. 

I then sat there in the silence knowing that I needed to walk away to heal before I could come heal her. She deserved the peace that she needed in order for her to live with what she has to live with for the rest of her life.

I then stood up from my chair and began to walk away from that hallway, knowing that every footstep that I take away from her is a footstep in the reminder that my heart was breaking yet again. 

I loved her. I wanted to be with her. But I can't do that when I can't trust her. I needed to heal from what happened in order to heal the relationship that I had and could potentially have with her. But I don't want to have to let her go so soon. But she needs this from me. She needs this time for her and her son. 

I walked through the hallways and went directly into a waiting elevator that was going down to the parking lot. The minute that the doors closed was the first time that I felt like I heard my broken heart dropped a piece of shattered glass that was left behind in that hallway.

Missy's Viewpoint:

As I lay in this bed, I knew what to expect. But I hoped to go that I wasn't going to have to pay a bigger price than I already did. 

I had to protect Aaron. I had my reasons, but I had to keep them to myself so that I don't put him in a place where he would have to betray the people that he loves.

As I sat and waited for the agent to come question me, I had to make sure that she didn't know about what actually happened all those years ago. Why I faked my death. I had a choice to stay but it would mean sacrificing the man that I loved.

I had to be the one who went into WITSEC for a reason. I had to take the fall. The tears that were now streaming down my face when I am now facing the reality of the fact that I haven't exactly dealt with the trauma that I went through and also put others through to protect them from the realities of this world.

I soon heard a soft knock on my hospital door as I started to wipe the tears away from my face as I said, "Come in."

The door opened quietly and in came someone that I knew all too well. Fitz. My boss. He knew the exact reason why I was in WITSEC.

"Mr. President," I said.

"Missy," He replied as he shut the door behind him and turned to face me.

He had a vase full of some of my favorite flowers that he knew that I absolutely adored. I smiled at the thought that he remembered from our many conversations of what some of my favorites were.

"I brought you this as I thought that they would cheer you up," Fitz said as he sat them down on the table near me and went around my bed to sit on the chair that Connor occupied earlier.

"Thank you, Fitz. How kind of you to bring them to me. I greatly appreciate the thought of them," I said kindly.

"Missy, I know that you woke up recently, and I am sure that this is probably not the best time to discuss this, but I know that you know why I am here right?" Fitz said as he put his hands together.

I nodded in silence. I knew the reason why he was here was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. But I am going to have to face it sooner rather than later.

"Missy, I am here to order you to shut down the FBI's investigation into Hiram Lodge and why he took you out to that cabin. They can never know why he took you there," Fitz said as he looked me dead in the eye.

I hesitated for a second, but I knew that what he was asking was for the greater good and for the bigger picture. 

That was when I replied, "Yes, sir. The minute that the agent gets here, I will shut down the investigation."