The Unwanted- /re-writing/

Chapter thirty_(30)

••On my fingertips, they rest.
Feathery whispers now,
Of freedom.
Not far away now...
Soon to be mine••

   In only panties and bra, I recounted the story of how I'd stabbed myself and our maid during my first ever seizure attack.

"It was only a month after I...after the rape and it was my birthday. Nobody was home and nobody even remembered and I was just so sad. I was still in pain and nobody was there to listen. I didn't like the maid we had then because she was mean and never wanted to listen to anything I had to say. So I was in my room, crying. My parents hadn't even bothered to leave a happy birthday message and they were on a business trip. I was sad at first, then I got mad and started throwing things around and breaking everything in sight. I wasn't just angry, I was livid and I didn't know what came over me. It scared me and I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I went to the sitting room and broke the tables, the TV--everything. And then I entered the kitchen and I was unstoppable." I stopped and took a deep breath, wrapping my arms around my body as I stared at the bathroom floor. Ada placed a hand on my shoulder, her touch warm on my bare skin as she lent me a small smile of support.

"Then that's when our maid came in and tried to stop me. I didn't even know how the knife got in my hands, but she was screaming at me to stop one minute, and the next she was on the floor in a pool of blood. I got scared, so scared that my entire body was shaking as I watched blood drain out of her and then I got mad again. This time it was ten times worse and if I could, I would have ripped the cabinets off the walls. Then in a blinding flash of light, I felt pain sear through me, my stomach feeling like a hot pot of burning coal. I had stabbed myself." My hand went to my stomach instinctively, grazing over the scar and it felt like the pain was still present.

"You poor, poor thing," Faith said, her eyes misty as tears pooled in them and I tried to smile, but it was more like a grimace.

"Can you cry with contact lenses on?" I suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had blanketed us after Faith's words and both of my friends gave me incredulous looks, not believing my words.

"Are you for real?" Ada exclaimed, her eyes still misty and ladened with pity.

"Yes na. I don't want her to go blind na!" I gestured towards Faith's misty eyes, still pursuing my goal of lifting the sad atmosphere my story had generated.

"You're crazy," Faith shook her head, a small smile playing on the corner of her lips and I grinned, putting more effect into my antics.

"I know, that's why you loooove me!" I sang and both of them burst into laughter. It wasn't like their regular laugh though, it was a bit subdued but I was glad they were laughing at least.

Faith's phone lit up with a ping sound, indicating an incoming message and she rushed to get it, managing not to trip in her black four-inched heels. She smiled as she unlocked the phone, dainty fingers quickly typing a reply.

Ada and I shared a suspicious look and we turned to her, ready for questioning.

"Before you ask, its David and he's just my dinner date." Faith quickly replied as she turned off her phone, fixing us with an innocent smile.

"Are you sure he's just a dinner date? And who is David between?" I asked, a brow raised with a smile playing on my lips.