Del Rico Triplets #2: Retracing The Steps

Kabanata 21

Lumakad ito palapit sa akin. Ang aura nito ay nakakulong sa iisang silid kung nasaan kaming dalawa lang ang naroon. Mabilis at malakas at tahip ng dibdib ko nang maramdaman ang panganib. Subalit bukod pa roon, isang emosyon pa ang nabubuhay sa akin. Pighati. Pasakit.

My mind was unable to recall his name or who he is, but my heart might be aware because it beats louder and louder like it's about to pop out of my ribcage. He took a step towards me and I am incapable to do anything but watch him. My eyes couldn't even blink. Part of me wants to tell him to stop, but my heart is also yearning for him to be close.

The familiar chaos inside me... It feels like I do know him-but can't tell who is he-could have such an impact on me? Why can't I recall what his name is? Why can't I determine what his role is in my life? Why does the way he looked at me alone cause him to baffle me and threaten me?

Suddenly, familiar words and voice struck me hard.

"I made you my puppet. I manipulated you. I tampered your memories. I made you fall for me. I used your body..."

Nagmistulang patalim iyon na hinugot sa akin nang ilang beses. Dahilan kung bakit tila nagising ang aking kamalayan sa reyalidad. There was ringing on my ears but it vanished as another familiar voice came in to fill my awakened system.

"Umiiyak na naman siya..." Nasundan ng mahabang buntong-hininga iyon.

"She might be having nightmare again," ani isa pang boses.

"I hate myself for being mad at her, dude. This woman suffered the most. I sympathize with her. Hindi ko na magawang tignan ang gagong iyon dahil nangangati ako palaging bugbugin."

I balled my fist. Unlike when I am inside that nightmare-unable to understand or to recall anything-now I could finally comprehend their topic.

Pamilyar na rin sa akin ang marinig ang boses nilang nagpapalitan. Troi's cousin, they are sometimes visiting me or two of them might stay here with me para mabantayan ako. Somehow, that didn't make me comfortable. Surrounding me here, are the family to the man who broke me.

They feel bad for me. They regret their irrational outrage at me before learning about the truth. The reality is how it is. Due to misunderstandings, someone may be murdered hundreds of times. Merely because they made their judgment before you had a chance to provide your defense. That what mattered the most is their own opinion and judgment towards you.

"That fucker was in shit. Have you seen him? Puta! Hindi nakakatulog nang walang alak."

The voice is owned by Blake and he's here together with Bastian and Dameson. I know their voice now. Sa araw-araw ba naman na ilan silang nagpapalitan dito at mamumulatan ko. Sumusubok na kausapin ako at pagaanin ang aking loob.

I applaud their patience, tho. Na kahit hindi sila makakuha ng kahit na anong sagot sa akin ay hindi ko makitang naiinis sila. Maliban kay Bjorne. Maiksi lang ang pasensya noon kumpara sa lahat. Tho, siya ang palaging pihado at pinakamatinong magsalita. Iyong laging may sense ang sinasabi. Iyong hindi puro pinsan niya ang topic kundi ang pagtatanong kung maayos lang ba ako.

"Hindi pa rin ba siya pwedeng dumalaw?" tanong ni Bastian.

Nahigit ko ang hininga ko. Sa kaisipang maririnig ko muli ang boses niya nang malapitan at makikita siya.