What is Love

The First Love

When we first met, I had no idea
how important you would end up being to me.
You made me feel beautiful.
Before I met you, I thought I was nothing.
Though I could not physically be with you, (thousands of miles apart), 
the distance could not stop me from loving you.
I had to stop myself.

If I had a chance to be with you at anytime,
I would have took it.
I wished we could be together in that presence.
I was jealous of people that got to see you everyday.
I wanted to see you today and tomorrow, and every day in every year.

I wished you could be there to come to bed
and cuddle me, because I was cold without you.
I wanted to be in your bed next to you each night, than in my own.
Cuddling with you would have been perfect.
I wanted to be wrapped in your arms
(holding me tight and never letting me go), skin against skin, hands intertwined, and me falling asleep to your heartbeat against my own.

Your hair, your smile, your eyes, your height,
your voice, your kisses, your hands,your words,
your heart, your laugh, your body, your scent, your jokes, your hugs, your clothes, your flaws, mistakes, and sarcasm that was hard to sometimes understand.
You.

I wanted to see you, hold you, hug you,
touch you, kiss you, cuddle with you, I wanted it all, even though I couldn't experience all of it, I still liked and wanted it because it is a part of you. All of the things I could not really have, right then, yet-
Or so I thought.

You are the first person that ever made me feel the true definition of happy.
You showed me that feeling.
You became my happiness.
You made me happy when no one else could.
You are the reason that I was smiling when there was nothing to smile about.
Love was just a word to me until I met you.
No words could fully describe all of the feelings that I had for you.
My love for you was like a journey;
starting at forever, and ending at never.
If only you could see how my face lights up when your name appears on my phone.
There was nothing you could do to lose my love.
That is, Until it dissipated in the wind with others and ran away with the tears that coated our cheeks- with the pain that we caused to each other.

I believed that you were my soul mate.
That you were it, you were my person.
You completed me, I only wanted it with you.
I never ever got tired of you.
I'd be there for you, still.
Always, even when the sun no longer shines.
I wanted you by my side in every possible way in existence.
I didn't care about anybody else,
I just wanted to be good enough for you.
We loved with a love that felt like more than just love.

If I could have been with anyone,
I would have always choose to be with you.
I would choose you, and I would choose you, over and over again, without a pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat, I would have always chose you.
I only have one life, and I only wanted to spend and live it with you.
You were more than enough,
you were my everything.
You were my weakness.
You were the person
that I always wanted to be with.
For me you were perfect.

I thought I would never love anyone as much as I loved you.
You were the sunshine that made my day.
You were the center of my universe.
I had also never blushed as much as I had with you and texting you.
I loved you more than all of the grains of sand in the sea,  more than all of the stars in the universe, and more than every inch in every foot, every foot in every meter.
Every meter in every yard, and in every yard in every mile that separates us from each other.
I loved you beyond the edge of the universe.
I loved you more than I had ever found a way to say at the time.
You stole my heart, and my heart was full of my love of you, my heart was yours.
And to be honest, I hoped you never gave me my heart back.
That is until we broke it together and I had to grow a new one within my chest, one that could never belong to you...

I missed you and I was constantly thinking of you. I couldn't get you out of my mind.
When we were still in each other's lives...

You never left my mind since the day we met, even when I had a million things to worry about.
Just thinking of you warmed me up in the cold. You didn't even realize how much I loved talking to you.
I didn't care if we talked about absolutely nothing, I just wanted to talk to you.
Don't worry about saying the wrong thing. Even if I spent the whole day with you,
I would have missed you the second you left.
No matter how long, I'd have been waiting for you. The world has airplanes, trains, and even cars, I would have walked to you if I had no other way to get to you.

I hated the feeling that I got when I had to say goodnight or goodbye to you, because I didn't want to waste a single minute without you.
You were more incredible than you knew,
and you deserved more than you thought.

But now I realize that although the feelings were true...
It never would have worked out with you.