What is Love

Don't Fall

I know I can't fall in love,
but I wish to feel it again.
That feeling I get when I'm around him,
The feeling of his presence.
His soul that warms my heart.
His words that make it beat.
His touch that makes it melt.
The feeling of security, of protection.
When I know that if I fall...
he'll catch me gracefully in his arms.

I tell myself not to fall for him.
Love is too dangerous.
You'll just get hurt.
You'd rather be alone.
But it just makes me desire what I don't have with him more than I already do.

He makes me just want to scream at myself or bang my head against a wall...
maybe then I could talk some sense into myself.
But at the same time I want to dance and make conversation with him throughout the night.

But no.
Of course I do neither of those things.
All I do is giggle at his jokes,
blush when our eyes meet, and try to speak. But my words sometimes dye in my mouth. Like water in a hose, clamping up when the hose bends over itself.
I get nervous, that he'll leave.
He'll leave just like everyone else that has left me because they can't help but be judgemental.

I get this spark of hope that he will never stop liking me, and that scares me too.
It means that I would have to break his loving heart in the future and that's why I almost don't want to get too close.
I'm scared of hurting others in my decisions.