Being Mute

Chapter 31 ❤️

Hi, guys! Before this chapter starts, I just wanted to say that there's two more days before my giveaway ends! Go ahead and enter! It's free and you might win something *wink wink* 

Details are in the chapter names "giveaway"

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I got back to Miles's pack house. The place seemed quiet, quite calm if you ask me. I went inside through the front door, figuring that Miles thought I was with Christian and Jenny, so if I would've gone through my window, he would've been suspicious.

I wasn't sure if I should address him, tell him that even though it's none of his business, I still snuck out to see Christian and Jenny. I'm not even sure why I even try, though. I mean why do I have to tell him what I'm doing every waking moment?

I hardly know what he does, and I'm pretty sure I'll never find out!

But I tried pushing all of those thoughts that would force me to change my mind about approaching Miles, away. I figured I might as well just tell him so that he wouldn't bring it up later and find it suspicious that I didn't.

I knocked politely on his office door. I wondered if he was busy. Apart of me wanted him to be busy so I wouldn't have to face him, but to my luck, he wasn't. "Come in!" He said faintly from the other side of his office door.

I tried stalling myself from actually opening the door by wondering what he did in his office all day. I mean I'm more than positive that Alpha's don't have to do that much work, right?!

I mean come on, how important are they really?

I shook my head and forced myself to push open the dare, I pushed it open as though it pained the hell out of me, though. Like literally I pushed it open with such force, that it opened, slammed against the wall behind it and then flew back and closed again.

I was a little stunned by how much force I actually used just to open a damn door. I think apart of me used so much because well- I didn't think my body would let me open it.

I muttered some curse words under my breath, mentally cursing myself for making myself look so dumb at such a moment. I swung the door open again, this time with a lot less force, and walked in.

I shut the door behind me, squeezing my eyes shut. For some reason, my stomach was filled with butterflies.

I turned around and looked at Miles who was starring at me with what seemed like amusement. Quite embarrassing on my behalf, he probably thought my little "door" stunt was stupid and funny.

I would've gotten mad by the way he was looking at me, I really would've. It would've put me in a bad mood or something. But just by staring at Miles, my conversation with Christian popped back up in my head. I was slightly confused to be utterly honest. I mean, Christian pointed out things that were just too hard to ignore.

I felt so comfortable around Miles even thought I felt like I hated his guts. I still felt as if I belonged to him as if I needed to stay although I can freely leave. I mean really, how much control does Miles have over me? That I'm so scared to leave, even though I shouldn't be.

"Hi." I sighed out to him, taking a seat across him on the desk. "Hello, Jane." He said my name with amusement, which wasn't a surprise.

I was just waiting for him to burst out laughing at me. My entrance didn't exactly make me feel confident.

And I wanted to be confident enough to lie to Miles's face about where I was. Now I felt like, well like I'm gonna do the opposite of that.

"Just wanted to say I snuck out to see Christian and Jenny." I shrug. He looks at me for a second, his face going back to its normal serious self. And then- he nodded. Just nodded and looked back to what he was doing.

"Are you gonna get mad? Or maybe just say something?" I ask, expectingly. He shrugs, looking back at me. "What do you want me to say, Jane? Want me to say 'alright fine' even though I know you're lying?" He asks, arching his eyebrow at me, actually looking at me like I was stupid.

It reminded me on the day I first met him. That day I knew he hated me almost immediately.

I tried ignoring it then, but it's too hard to ignore an obvious fact like the fact that your mate hates you.

Very cringing if you ask me.

"What?" I ask, slightly dumbfounded. "I knew where you were." He murmurs, looking down at his work once again. "If you knew where I was, why didn't you do anything about it?" I ask, in such a low whisper I'm sure I sounded scared.

Maybe I was. Although I don't think I was scared of his authority to lock me in my bedroom like always, I'd probably find a way out anyway. But I felt scared for another reason I'd rather not express.

"I bit my tongue." He looked at me. "Why?" I felt very curious. I wondered if he actually knew where I was. "I figured, you weren't going to believe me until you asked him. I guess you trust him more, I don't blame you." He sounded calm. Now I knew for sure that he knew I was out, talking to Dylan.

I bit my lip, looking down.

There was a long, kind of awkward silence that filled the room. I wanted to talk, kind of explain but I wasn't sure if I could.

"It's not that I trust him more.." I whisper, looking down.

"What?" He asked. I shrug slightly. "I don't trust him more than you or anything, I just had hope that you were lying and that he actually-" I shook my head, laughing harshly at myself.

It wasn't until now that I realized how heartbroken I actually felt.

I felt alone. I honestly felt so alone here, because Miles still didn't seem like he wanted much to do with me, and the one person I thought wanted me, actually didn't.

The thought sent a sour feeling to my stomach, made my eyes blurry with tears.

And God I never felt more pathetic then now, here crying in front of Miles about a guy. "I only really told you the truth because I didn't want you to have to hear it from him." He says.

I look up at him, he looked apologetic. I wiped a few tears away, trying my hardest to look anywhere else than him, but God was that hard!

He stood up and walked towards me, it seemed like he did so cautiously.

"Jane?" He asked my name. "Hmm?" I look up at him. He bent down, in front of me. It felt kind of weird to have him so close.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. I narrow my eyes. "What?" I ask, slowly. "I'm sorry." He shrugs.

"Why?" I looked at him confused, I mean I knew that Miles had a lot to apologize for, he'd need to be a little more specific.

"I-" I watched as he clenched his jaw in a very uncomfortable way. It looked like he was clenching it hard enough to break it!

"I'm the one that made you do all this shit, go off to him. Feel like this." He shook his head. I can tell he was avoiding eye contact with me. "Jane, you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. The way you smile- how good of a person you are. I don't think any guy in this god-awful world deserves you, Jane." My breath got caught in my throat, I stared at him, completely taken back.

Butterflies filled my stomach and I realized why I was so scared before, I was afraid he was going to stop talking to me, to stop acknowledging me and just let me go.

And God up until now, I didn't know how afraid I actually was.

He stood up, straightening himself up. But before he can walk back to his desk, I stood up and did something I wouldn't normally do, I hugged him. Wrapping my arms around his neck and actually, literally hugging him.

He was taken back, as expected. But he wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed me back.

I took in a deep breath, smelling him. God I never knew he smelt so damn good. And my hands were slightly touching his hair, and god it was so soft!

Ugh.