Being Mute

Chapter 23 ❤️

Well I wasn't sure what to do at this point. I'm not even sure why Miles hates Dylan so much but I feel like he hates him 10 times more now.

I just can't understand why Miles would hate someone that seems so innocent. And why is Miles so mad at me for being with someone? I've done nothing wrong! Literally!

Was Miles trying to be better for me? Was he trying to actually build a relationship with me? Because if so he wasn't doing the best job at it. But is it weird that I found it kind of flattering that he was trying? I don't quite know why he's trying but the fact that he wanted to just kind of makes me happy.

Everything Miles said though, hurt me. I understand why he's mad that I'm with Dylan, maybe apart of him actually does feel something for me that he got mad and jealous when he found out I actually am with someone and the fact that it is Dylan probably makes it a million times worse.

I just- well I don't understand Miles. He's so confusing and I can't help but feel bad about everything I said. Although I'm sure they didn't hurt him as much as the things he said, hurt me.

Miles said he didn't want me in the first place, so does that mean he wants me now?

Ugh it's all so confusing but I can't help but be slightly happy that he's trying. I mean I didn't expect anything from Miles when I first met him. He hated me and I had to except that.. But now that I know that apart of him actually well, wants me, I just can't get him out of my mind.

I'm starting to constantly think about him and I feel like it's unhealthy.

I'm with Dylan too, I just feel like it's wrong. I really like Dylan. He means a lot to me obviously. It's just Miles who constantly seems to get in the way of my relationship with him, he gets in the way even when he isn't trying to!

But it just doesn't feel right anymore. It doesn't feel right to be with Dylan, I've been lying to him about having parents and having a mate. I didn't really think our relationship would last, but I kind of had hope that it would.

I just- well I can't help but think that maybe I should just end things with Dylan. I can't risk getting Miles anymore angrier than he already is, if that is possible. And I didn't think we'd work in the first place.

I just, well I'm going to miss Dylan. I really loved our times together. He's funny and sweet. He treats me right and I feel like I can be myself around him. And I'm not super self conscious about the fact that I don't talk around him.

But Miles. Something just keeps dragging me back in, something keeps telling me that- that Miles might just be what I want. Although I can't say the same for him.

Ugh.

Why does this all have to be so complicated? I just want everything to be a bit simpler.

And I can't stop fighting the fact that I do have feelings for Miles. Despite everything he's put me through.

I care for Miles rather I like it or not. Just my luck.

Of course this would happen.

How can I hate someone so much but yet care for them like I've never cared for anyone in my entire life?

I guess this is what the stupid mate bond does to you. It makes you feel.

"It makes you feel.." I whisper, looking up at my ceiling.

I narrow my eyes.

That's it. Miles didn't want to change. He didn't think he'd ever care for me or anything but the fucking mate bond!

It makes you feel! Even for someone you'd never have any feelings for.

Miles started feeling something for me and I was feeling the same for him.