What If...?|| A "Dear Evan Hansen" Fanfiction

Chapter Seven- Connor

"Connor! Wait!" A voice called behind him as he pulled the hood of his sweater over himself to shield himself from the rain. He could hear the shouting from the door he was leaving.

He wanted to turn, if even for a moment to be real with him just for a second. Embrace him again and feel what he was willing to give Connor for a split second. But he just... Couldn't. He kept running, and never stopped.

It was cold. And he was cold. Everything in him pushed his feet further away from the house. And he just couldn't bear to turn back and look.

That's when he looked at his phone. An email popping into his notifications. He knew who the emailer was.

Was Evan as hidden as him?

Did Evan understand?

...:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.:*:.*:.:*:.:*:...

He stared out the window, eyes following the lines of trees that weren't too far from where he lived. He was used to passing them every day on his way to school.

But they weren't going to school. They were on their way to the hospital as his mother had promised him. Both of them inside her time car, not a word exchanged. In his hands he held the emails between him and Connor, feeling as if he was holding Connor's very being in the palm of his hand.

The night before they had gone from complete strangers to him knowing everything about Connor and the people he was around in seconds.

He knew more about Zoe, all these emails from Connor about her and him. Part of him wished he had gotten to know her on his own. But through all of what was happening... He only could think about Connor. And his crush on Zoe was merely a second priority.

The car drew to a halt, and he was hesitant to leave the cal, looking down at the folder in his hand. What was he even going to say? What could he even say? Oh hey, Connor. Your parents went through our emails and know everything about us. Also, I figured out it was you the whole time sending them.

He couldn't do that. Not to himself or Connor. He simply inhaled, looking up at his mother who was giving him a soft smile. "Want me to come in there with you?"

Evan thought for a moment, only to shake his head and undo his seat belt. He did't say a word, only got the courage to open the door and climb out. He stood there for a moment, his mother pulling away before he could change his mind. He gulped. Guessing he was doing this. He made his way across the parking lot and forgot about what he was doing, just so he wouldn't run to the bus stop and forget about it. Yet somehow his feet found their way into the elevator, and up to the third floor, where he was met with Zoe the minute he exited the elevator, her eyes growing wide at him. "What are you doing here?" She asked, Evan wondering if she was oblivious to the emails that Evan had in his hand.

"I'm sorry... about your brother..." he said, unsure of what answer to give her. Zoe shaking her head and waving behind herself.

"Oh, trust me. He's back to normal," she said with a huff, making her way into the elevator, and crossing her arms, just standing in the corner with a pained look on her face.

Evan nodded, making his way to the room, unsure of what a 'normal' Connor really meant for him. He had figured out that Connor was the one behind the emails. But did Connor know that he knew? Or was it still a mystery to him? Whatever the case, his concern kept his feet moving forward and to the room, meeting the eyes of a very angry Connor who was standing at the door, about to leave- as Evan gulped and took a step back.

Connor's angry expression seemed to soften for only a moment, replaced by confusion so quickly that Evan wondered if Connor could even manage a soft face. "What the fuck is the acorn doing here?"