Because I Want You

Chapter Eleven: Second Sight

Dave lay back on the bed with his head in Nick's lap, listening to the music from the stereo. Nick combed through his hair with his fingers and stroked his cheek, and Dave sighed happily, closing his eyes. It was a Thursday afternoon in late January and they were in Dave's room, on his bed. His parents wouldn't be home until late.

Nick shifted a bit under him, and then his lips came down to graze his forehead. Dave smiled and lifted his hand up to Nick's neck, pulling his head down to kiss him.

The kiss was deep and long and sweet, and Dave felt his pulse quicken as he breathed him in.

Nick's hand found the hem of his t-shirt and pulled upwards, until he could reach Dave's chest. His lips moved from Dave's mouth to his neck as he squeezed his nipple between two fingers. Dave gasped, his legs twitching involuntarily. When Nick found his earlobe and began to nibble and suck on it, Dave groaned, digging his fingers into Nick's shoulder.

Nick broke contact for a moment, and suddenly he was on top of him, one hand in Dave's hair, the other caressing his side, their pelvises grinding together momentarily. Nick pushed Dave's t-shirt up further and brought his lips to his chest, kissing a trail between his nipples. His tongue flicked out to caress one of them, and Dave moaned again. Nick mimicked the sound in apparent empathy.

His hand moved along the waistband of Dave's jeans, stopping at the fly and working the button. Dave gasped again, arching his back, and he felt his dick twitch in his pants. His whole body was telling him that he wanted this, wanted it desperately, but all of a sudden some part of his mind decided to panic. He took Nick's hand in his own to stop him. Nick broke free of his grasp, and tried to return to his task.

'No, wait,' Dave panted. 'Wait, wait, wait . . .'

Nick stopped and looked at Dave's face, frowning. 'What's wrong?' he asked.

'I . . . Nothing, I'm just . . .' Dave scratched his thigh and looked away. 'I'm not ready,' he mumbled.

'Not ready,' Nick repeated. 'You . . . I don't believe this . . .' He climbed off of Dave and sat next to him. Dave propped himself up on his elbows.

'Look, I'm sorry, I just—'

'You just what?' Nick snapped. 'Any time we get even close to that, you stop me. So what's the matter? Is it all just fine as long as you can pretend that I'm a girl?'

'No!' Dave protested, sitting up fully. The hem of his t-shirt rolled down to cover his torso again. 'No, it's not like that, it's just that, well, this is all so new, and—'

'We've been together for two months!' Nick interrupted him.

'Well, I've never done this before!'

'What are you talking about? You've been with loads of people!'

'With girls!' Dave stressed, feeling annoyed now. 'I've never done anything like this with a boy before.'

'Well, neither have I!' Nick replied, his voice breaking. 'Don't you want me?'

'No! I mean, yes, I do, but listen . . .' Dave ran his hand through his own hair, sighing angrily. 'Before this started happening, I had never even considered being with a boy before, all right? I'd never fantasised about it, or thought about it or dreamt about it. It's different for you, you're properly gay, you've known for ages that you were.'

'And you're not?'

'Well . . . no,' Dave admitted. 'I mean, I don't know what I am. I've been with girls . . . And then there's you.'

Nick stood up, glaring at him. 'Well, maybe you should figure it out,' he said icily. 'Come find me when you have.'

'Nick, please. Wait!' Dave called, but Nick had already stormed off down the stairs and moments later he heard the front door slam. Dave fell back into his pillows, sighing again. The exchange had evoked a strange feeling of déja vu. It felt oddly like he'd been here before.