Mixed Personalities

7.0

"Yeah just don't let me miss the show" Maurice added-this boy loved to watch shit pop off, he's never been in real life drama or even seen much fights so when it happens he's always first in line- so at clubs it's always annoying when everyone's leaving the club he's just standing there with wide eyes cheering it on.

"Oh what y'all watching? I tuned into the new kardashian season- wack" Melanie announced.

"Duh Alonso boyfriends fight" everyone in the room snickered but I didn't find it funny.

"They already met or whatever - this ain't highschool people still don't do that shit they just move on" I responded-sometimes it sucked being the grown up of the group. Everyone else was bout childish as fuck.

"Ohhh I wanna see that too" Tas'hania added nodding "but Nassy less violent now- It took me 45 minutes of poking him consistently before we started fighting" she said proudly.

....................................

When everyone finally left I was left alone with my thoughts, Alex had came over but fell asleep before me so here I was tracing over the tattoos as he laid in my bed.

   "Ain't no son of mine bout to be no pussy ass faggot- I knew I should've been harder on you" my dad yelled slamming his hand on the desk down.

    "Ian no pussy ass faggot! You got other people doing all of ya business" I spat back not wanting to hear this.

   "You think your mother wanted you to be like this?" He asked

   "You think she wanted me to be like you?" I screamed at him. I didn't know what happened next but I did know he hit me first- then I tackled his ass and he wasn't my father no more. He wasn't shit to me- all the anger he ever caused came out and here I was beating the leader of saints ass. His guys pulled me off and he spit out blood getting himself together pulling himself back up.

"Your pussy ass shouldn't even have my last name let alone the same blood. Y'all bounce out let me talk to the boy" he said probably not wanting them to hear what came out of his mouth next. I thought I hated him my whole life so why would him not accepting me hurt so much? I haven't seen him in years and he didn't deserve to be called my father Atleast maybe someone's else's. "You really a faggot boy? Or you doing this outta spite?" He asked looking me up and down I laughed at how single minded he was.

"Why would I be doing this shit outta spite!"

"Cause I ain't Neva heard of no black man that likes being gay- so that cop man must've touched you or something"

"You ignorant as hell, I shoulda Neva came to you for help ever" I said spitting at him as he punched me in my face. "To think you was actually man enough to raise another man was dumb as hell- my momma should've left your ass then and there" I said and he punched me again I pushed him back making him fall over as the blood leaked from lip walking out on my "father".

I snapped out of my thoughts as Alex shifted a bit, I kissed his head running my fingers through his hair before going to smoke elsewhere. I didn't know when I started smoking weed like I did- maybe when I went down to Atlanta they smoked all the time down there, but I think it was more when the pain became to much. I use to be able to just deal with it ignore that shit- but closure and all that extra bullshit- wanting to be at peace with unpeaceful things made the mind go crazy- the world was nuts.

   I looked over at my phone seeing it go off and answered the FaceTime call- who could really be calling me at this time?  "Zozo" I looked down seeing Tas'hania who was laying in her bed doing the same thing I was about to do.

   "Wassup with you T?" I asked,she hasn't called me at this time in years, but then again I probably wouldn't have answered anyway.

   "No I called to see wassup with you- ya eyes seem sad" she said and I litt my blunt exhaling shrugging a bit as I thought about how to respond.

    "Imma be alright"

  "What about happy?" She offered and I scoffed at her words not wanting to hear the stupid games.

    "I gotta be alright before I be happy first"

      "I think that's why you don't want me to meet ya little boyfriend- he probably just a little distraction to cover ya problems" she read me like a book- I wouldn't let her know that though. "But he does legal shit so it's okay I guess" she muttered making me laugh a bit at the petty comment.

      "Maybe, maybe not -he loves me so much and I just can't open up to him. Ya know?" I said and she nodded I could tell she could understand. "It's like telling an angel all your sins- they not gonna understand why you did it in the first place" I vented.

    " aw Zozo- if you don't trust him then maybe y'all shouldn't be together"

   "I do trust him- he don't be in every nigga face or nothing"

   "There is different types of trust Zozo- and with love you need all of them."

   "I might love him- I trust him" I defended as she was reading me to much.

    "Yeah you finna take a bullet for him?" She questioned sarcasm laced through her voice but I didn't answer. Sure Alex didn't deserve to die but why was he messing around with guns in the first place? Would I take a bullet for him?

   "He might be the one I marry" I responded and she coughed on smoke making me smack my lips at her being an idiot.

      "Well if you do that- I'm not finna be in the wedding so I can object" she added

   "What is this all about Aye? I don't get why everyone is so harped up about my relationship all of the sudden" I added hitting the blunt.

     "Cause you drowning in ya thoughts and he's not helping you"

....................................,,,,,,,

  - poor bby Alonso

- I miss my baby Mac but he ain't coming back yet.

- I don't got no friends so I'll probably spam y'all all spring break cause a bitch lonely and sad & yk helps with that? Writing. And I prewrote mad chapters idk why knowing I'm mad inpatient and I can't wait for y'all to see them all 🤣.