The Get-Go [Ashton Irwin]

21: Get An Answer (Part A)

     "Marry me." His eyes burn as I pull away, letting my head fall back onto the pillows.

    "What?" There's no way I heard him right. He didn't just say -

    "Marry me."

    Oh.

     Fuck.

    I roll my eyes at him and force a laugh. "Yeah, sure, Ash. I'm free tomorrow, we can do it after breakfast."

    For once, he doesn't laugh along with me. Instead, he looks put out. Slowly, he moves his face away from mine, sitting back on his knees, still hovering over me. "I'm serious, Wyn."

    "No, you're not." I reply, sitting up with my back against the headboard with a pillow in between. Barely able to look him in the face, I start nervous drumming my fingers on my thigh, until I clear my head long enough to speak again. "You're not serious."

    He grabs my hand, effectively stopping my fingers from tapping, and almost crushes my hand as he squeezes it. "Yes I am! Wynter, I'm so serious right now. I want you to marry me."

    "Ashton, no, you don't!" I protest, pulling my hand away. "You're scared because I got hurt, and you feel like you have to do something big to make up for it. Your protective instincts are probably–"

    "Don't." Ash's voice is low, but firm. "Don't try and psychoanalyze me. Don't try and tell me what I do and do not want. I'm completely serious, and I mean it when I say that I love you more than anything or anyone in the world, and there's nothing I want more than for you to marry me."

    When a girl gets proposed to in a movie, she breaks down in tears and says yes without a second thought. I always thought I would be the same. Instead, I'm close to tears because I'm having second thoughts. Not about Ashton. Ashton is a better man than I ever would have hoped I'd end up with. He's sweet, he's funny, loyal, genuine, the list goes on and on. It's not even the idea of being married to him that I have a problem with.

    It's the idea of being married to him now.

    As soon as he catches my gaze, our eyes are fairly locked on each other. There are so many emotions floating through his - fear, doubt, annoyance, and what can only be love, to begin with - and I can only imagine what he's seeing in mine.

    His hand reaches out and captures mine again, more gently this time. I can't take this silence anymore; it's too heavy. "Ash, I… I… I love you, you know I do. At least as much as you do, maybe even more. A-and if there's anyone I would ever want to get married to, it would be you. But… but… damn, Ash, we're so young!"

    "So? You just said it; if there's anyone you would ever want to get married to, it's me. So let's get married." Ashton smiles, like he's given me an airtight answer, and I'm reminded of the beers he had backstage after the show. It was only two, but still. In his current state - frazzled and possibly even in shock - any amount of alcohol couldn't be helping his judgement.

    Of course, pointing that out to him will only annoy him again, and I don't want to deal with an annoyed Ashton. All I want is a damn painkiller for my headache and to go sleep. Because of that, I choose my words carefully. "Babe…" The tone of my voice matches the way I squeeze his hand - gently and cautiously. "My head is hurting a lot, and I don't think I'm thinking straight right now. Maybe I should take a - what do you call Tylenol here?"

    "Paracetamol."

    "Right. Maybe I should take a Paracetamol now and get some sleep for now, and we can talk about this tomorrow, when I'm feeling better." I try and look as pathetic as possible, feeling awful for taking advantage of the situation and lying to Ash. Although my head is pounding, I know I'm thinking straight. After all, if I weren't, I would have said 'yes' right away, right? I would have been engaged this exact moment. To Ashton. The best person that's ever happened to me. That wouldn't be thinking straight, right?