The Apprentice Assassin (Complete but editing) MxM

Journal entry #4

Thomas sighed as he looked through the ripped pages. Frustration began to seep into him as he looked at the large stack of missing pages. Picking up on the next unripped page he focused on the cursive scribbles through the shimmering light of the candles.

"Thank you master," I whispered to Colin, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

"Whatever for lover? I didn't do anything special yet." Colin exclaimed, rolling over in bed and looking at me with a goofy smile on his face.

A small chuckle escaped my lips as I nuzzled against his chest. "Not today no, but you have done so much for me over the years. You taught me how to defend myself, how to defend others, and most importantly..." I trailed off, taking a deep breath and enjoying the masculine scent that seemed to radiate off him.

"Most importantly what little one?" Colin repeated as I held in that breath.

Letting the air slowly flee my lungs, I looked up and kissed Colin gently on the lips as my anxiety began to kick in. "I just wanted to say that should we fail tomorrow-"

"Don't speak such things." Colin interrupted in a soft tone, disregarded my words. "I refuse to let you speak of the matter. You and I have been on many missions have we not? And how many have we failed?"

Blinking my eyes in surprise, I couldn't help but look away from his affectionate gaze. "Well none, but-"

"Exactly, you have been trained well, and I'm proud to say you now walk as I do." Colin interrupted again, his silky voice swirling around me as he attempted to comfort me. "We will go out tomorrow and kill that warmonger of a high priest, then return as heroes once again. What would Alex say if he heard you were in here cowering in the dark before our first big mission together?

"I don't think Alex would care." I answered with a soft chuckle, feeling the wisps of fear beginning to fade away. "I have a growing suspicion that he has no desire to hear anything more about us. Let alone our time in the bedroom."

"You know, maybe one day we can bring him a present." Colin whispered as his hand snaked around my back, sending shivers down my spine as his fingers began to creep down. "Maybe a sexy brown haired thing from a faraway land, with the desire to learn alchemy. Maybe then he'll get that stick out of his ass."

I chuckled as my self-doubt began to fade. Laying with Colin in the darkness, I couldn't help but wonder if our lives would continue forever like this. "Master?" I asked, the word dripping off my tongue like a raindrop. Unsure of what to say, I lay there in silence as he peered intensely at me through the darkness. Feeling my courage slowly returning, I managed to mumble out my next sentence. "Has there ever been a married couple in the order? I have heard of relations between teammates, but never a married pair."

"Why do you ask little one?" Colin answered as my heart began to pound. "Is there something that you wish to tell me?"

"Well..." I began, his creeping fingers froze in place, making my heart race all the more. "Well, I was just thinking that I have never seen a married couple in the order. I want to know why..."

Colin's fingers curled for a moment, then lay still. "You are correct little one, nobody in the order has taken a life partner before. Too many of our brothers and sisters have died in battle. The idea of marriage brings fear to those who ponder such things. Marriage brings with it the thought of their partners death, and this clouds the mind giving room for lapses in judgment." His fingers began to tremble on my waist, and before I could speak, he continued. "Our lives are to the order, we don't get the luxury of a life mate..." His last words coming out bitter and remorseful.

Silence gripped me as my heart broke. "Then let us not ponder on these things, Colin." I managed to cough out as my pain began to leak into my voice. "Let us think only of the mission we embark on tomorrow." I pulled away from his comforting touch and rolled over towards the edge of the bed. "What do we know about this priest..."