SLOW BURN

7. glad to hear that

My degree has helped me get this job that I enjoy most of the time. But it's only been a few weeks since Brad and I broke up and I'm already bored out of my mind. It's sort of sad that I don't have any friends to hang out with or hobbies to do during my free time.

The worst part is that I can't get Josh out of my head. I miss him. And I miss Brad. There are so many things wrong with this.

On Thursday, I decide I want to make myself feel worse by going through my things from high school. I'm one of those people that likes to keep things to remember a certain time of my life. I have notes from high school and even some of the little cards we used to give each other for Valentine's day back in middle school. I used to have much more junk but my mom made me clean out when I moved into the dorms for college. Now I just have a box with things I decided I couldn't throw away. I have many of my report cards from junior and senior year. I have no idea why I would want to keep them. Maybe to show how good of a student I was to my kids one day. I find a lot of notes Josh and I used to pass around in class back in freshman and sophomore year. Back when we didn't have phones and texting wasn't a thing.

I'm in the middle of going through pictures when I look up at the TV and something gets my eye. I reach for the remote and turn up the volume. The local news are on at their usual time at 9 p.m. They are showing live video from a helicopter of a building surrounded by police cars and ambulances. I don't recognize the building, I have no idea where that is, but what catches my eye is the caption, "FOUR FIREFIGHTERS INJURED IN EXPLOSION."

"...the firefighters have been rushed to the hospital," the reporter on the TV is saying. "...their conditions are still unknown..."

I sit there for a moment without moving. It could be any fire station. It could be anyone. I know that. Without thinking, I reach for my phone and call Josh. He doesn't answer.

I keep staring at the TV screen. I just need to know he's okay...that they're both okay. I call him again. I know he probably just left his phone in his locker. I don't think they carry it with them when they're out answering calls. My heart is beating hard against my chest. This has always been the scariest part about caring about someone who risks their lives everyday. Brad was hurt about a year and a half ago from a fall. He was okay. It wasn't anything serious but I still remember that call in the middle of the night. It makes the world stop.

I don't usually watch the news for the same reason. I had been watching a movie and didn't even realize that it had ended.

I begin to put all the stuff back in the box. I just stash it all in suddenly not wanting to look at any of it. Then I put the box back in the closet. I sit on the edge of the bed and wait. According to the news, they don't know what caused the explosion. They mentioned it was a battery storage. The location is within the fire station's radius and that just makes me more nervous.

I consider calling the station but what would I say? I have no valid relationship with anyone to explain my call. Then I think about calling Brad. I don't want to give him the wrong message but this is above everything. I just want to know he and Josh and their father are okay.

I'm about to call him when my phone begins to vibrate. It's Josh's number.

"Hello?" I answer a bit breathless. I really need to get a grip.

"Hello? Natalie?"

Hearing his voice sends relief through my body. He sounds breathless himself and there is a lot of background noise. I realize he must still be on the scene.