The Vigilante's Handbook (Misfits #1)

Eleven: I'm Not a Hoarder

"I know."

I threw my backpack into the area of our shared one bedroom apartment that we had dubbed the clutter corner when we moved in a year ago at the beginning of senior year. The only difference between your junk drawer and our clutter corner was the fact that a drawer could be contained.

Usually I was fine with the state of our apartment. We spent little time in the place. Most of our meals were at school because we didn't have the money for groceries. Our weekends were usually full of school activities--weekends spent in the recovery room were a new phenomenon. Any time spent in the Paramount Lake Apartments consisted of lazing around the common room, trying to do homework, but mostly eating contraband junk food and binge watching TV shows.

See kids? Superheroes are normal people just like you.

The whole purpose for the graduating class to move off-campus was to teach us responsibility and useful life lessons for when we lived on our own after graduation. In reality, we were impossibly unprepared to venture into the real world.

So, you see, under normal circumstances no one but Mona and me saw the mess that was our apartment. And I liked to keep it that way.

But today was not normal circumstances, like the rest of this past week. Miguel and Stitch were lounging on our couch, judging us while flipping through the basic cable package Paramount Lake set us up with.

"We were wondering when you would get home." Stitch stood to greet us, carefully stepping over a discarded box of takeout.

Clearly he was looking for an explanation and didn't have the patience with me that Mona had built up over our three year friendship. But I didn't feel like bearing my soul and secrets again. I told the misfits that much. "Mona, you tell them. I'm going to shower."

To prove my point, I shrugged off the extra sweater and threw it in the vague direction of the closet that held the washer and dryer. I would give it back to Mona when it no longer smelled of fountain water.

"Clean up after yourself," Mona called as I entered the bathroom ready to get in a hot shower to counteract my cold ride home.

"Says the girl whose bed is more cracker crumb than blanket."

"Do as I say, not as I do."

She kept talking after I shut the door and turned on the shower hot enough to fill the bathroom with steam. It took me an hour to freshen up and stop trying to freeze the jet of hot water coming from the showerhead.

The first thing that crossed my mind as I walked out of my bedroom with a towel on my head, a hairbrush in my hand, and an off pitched top twenties song on my lips was, "Why are all twelve of my classmates who do not live in this apartment lounging in my front room?"

Every member of the graduating class was congregated in my tiny living room. As if they didn't have enough reason to judge me. Now I was not only Eleanor's best friend, the second weakest of all of us, and rule-breaker extraordinaire, but a borderline hoarder too.

I found Mona guarding the snack cabinet from Evan, Foster, and Cody. "What the heck is going on?"

"Valentine showed up with a hoard following her and I can't get them to leave."

"But why are they here? Specifically, why are the three cousins plus Ariana and Alek piled on our couch?" In the second I drew Mona's attention to our five classmates balanced on our two person loveseat, Cody snuck past her to the cabinet and found our energy supply of Cheetos.

Mona caught him and shrieked. Cody mimicked her shriek back with startling accuracy--that was his gift after all--and raised the bag of Cheetos high above his head. Mona feigned a punch at his gut that he fell easily fell for. She snatched the bag out of his hand.

In his normal, startlingly deep voice, Cody answered, "The academy's trying to round us all up. You were the only one not ready, so we're making our last stand in your apartment."

"Please tell me you're lying. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard." He cocked an eyebrow telling me I was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen. I remembered the towel piled on my head and removed it without so much as a blush.

Just then the lock of my front door twisted and in stepped Dr. Frederick Vladimir. How did he of all people get a key?

Julien was the first to stand up to Freddie. He looked ready to fight. His body rippled along the sides as he prepared to split into multiple versions of himself. It wasn't a great offensive tactic as his clones were borderline useless, but it served as a great way to confuse the enemy. Unless the enemy was the doctor in charge of measuring our gifts. Freddie didn't bat an eye as an identical version of Julien appeared on either side of him.

"Step over there." He had that kind of authoritative, slightly vampiric voice that no one argued with.

Valentine waved Mona and me over to where her, Malee, and Julien were standing while more white coats filled my apartment. Stitch and Miguel joined us. The "Anna's being dumb again" line between Miguel's eyebrows was in full force even though I had nothing to do with whatever was happening. All had the good grace to not mention my outfit, a faded Paramount Lake Laser Tag Team t-shirt and fluffy pajama bottoms. Before this new development, I had no plans to leave my apartment tonight. "What's going on?"

"Some kind of graduate meeting," Valentine answered. "The head doctor wouldn't tell us anymore when he tried to kidnap us from our rooms. He just said that we needed to go with him back to campus immediately."

It took me a moment to figure out that she was referring to Dr. Freddie and that he wasn't really named Dr. Freddie.

My apartment was full of doctors. At least one for every student. No one looked happy to be here. For once it wasn't because of the clutter.

When we were all gathered together and accounted for, Freddie finally said something. "You are all required to meet in the auditorium." Not very helpful if you ask me.

"When?" Cody said in Camilliano's voice. That was his go-to interrogation tactic. He thought that people were more likely to tell the truth if they heard their own voice asking the question.

He wasn't wrong because the doctor answered. "Now."

We pulled up to the back of campus loaded three to an academy van. Back at the apartments, I tried to climb in with Mona and Stitch, but a white coat I didn't recognize stopped me. I was ushered into a different vehicle with Ariana and Diego.

The drive to campus was short and silent. I had never had many conversations with Ariana or Diego to begin with, but the ominous night left no words to be said. Not until the van pulled up to the back alley behind Paramount Lake. On either side of the alley were tall brick walls that threatened to fall over if you leaned against them at the wrong angle. Through the gate in one of them was the school garden--a generous term

What do you think is happening to our young superheroes- er, I mean, our young vigilantes?

I bet it's not what your expecting!

-m nicole