When Love Returns | 2 ✔

Chapter 30

"Yes, I was scared of him. As a mother, I got scared when even at a tender age, he was able to influence your decisions when I couldn't. You were always stubborn and reluctant to go to school, however, Jason came over once and on his first day with you, you agreed to go to school. You wanted to read and write just like him even though you were blind. You seemed happier as a child when you were together than when I got you your favorite strawberry flavored ice cream. You smiled more, you were keen on being good just for a little kid whom you had just met. Initially, I came to the realization that children got more excited when they were amongst others kids but my worst fear was ignited the day I heard him say he was gonna marry you. All I could think of was he wanted to take my role in your life. Disgusting thought, I know, but that was how I felt. Also I had always planned that you'd get married to someone from a wealthy background. That was why I resented him the more when he came back into your life." She cried harder.

What could I do to resolve this?

"I failed to admit constantly that he was right for you. Sometimes, I'd spy on you both and I would clearly see the love and adoration he had for you in his eyes, his expression, his words, his actions, but I chose to ignore them."

For the first time she admitted Jason loved me. I didn't know if I should be thrilled or mad. I chose the former.

"But he's dead now mum. I wish you had accepted him before he died. He meant the world to me. He was my soulmate!" I said at last, "But I'm glad you've finally admitted that his feelings for me were real. Knowing you, it must have taken a lot of inner battle to confess this." I answered. A streak of tears rolled down my eyes. When mum saw them, she quietly brushed them off with the palm of her right hand.

"Most importantly Cassie, please forgive me for trying to chose a man for you. Ever since you left last night, I've been plagued by guilt. I can't dictate your love life, not when I didn't let my parents dictate mine!"

It was true!

Mum's parents never wanted her to marry dad but she eloped with him. They only came to terms with it at my birth. They fell in love with me and agreed to accept dad into the family.

I laughed at the thought.

"Hypocrite, much?" Mum admitted again, a tiny smile on her face.

"A little, I guess!" I replied with the ‘ok’ sign. At that, we both laughed!

She sighed and said "I think it's time I stopped being shitty in accepting whoever my daughter wants to date, fall in love with or get married to. You're the second love of my life," I rolled my eyes at that and she chuckled and continued, "Your father will always be the first!" She sniggered again when I gave her the stink eye.

"But nothing compares to you my darling daughter. I've made the worst decisions and mistakes, far above the average mother but I am genuinely sorry and the only thing I ask for is your total forgiveness." Her words were solemn and contrite.

I thought about the bad days my mum had really messed up, the days I wanted nothing but to walk out of her presence and never look back. The days I believed she was different from the mother I thought I once knew.

But then, the thought of the good days, the days she comforted me. The days she gave me reasons to fight for my life and my sight, the days she shopped endlessly for me until I found the right dresses, the days she encouraged me to feel beautiful amidst my flaws, the days she stood up for me. The days...

The good days were so numerous that they overshadowed the bad. Truly, mum wanted the best for me and I was proud of her. She still gave me reasons to be better everyday.