ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ // ᴊ.ꜰ.

♡ 11 ♡

An hour later

Anthony and I had the tour itinerary laid out on the bed, covered in little scribbles and notes.

"Okay so this is a list of all the shows and hotels. I'm gonna call a chaperone tonight and discuss all of this with him, okay?" says Anthony. I could tell he spent a lot of time planning this. I really don't deserve him.

"Um, yeah." I say quietly.

"What's the matter?" He asks, lifting up my chin softly.

"Nothing, I'm just... really excited." I smile.

"I know. But you can't tell anyone. Not John or Toni or..."

"Can't tell me what?" says Toni who must have just been walking past.

How could we have been stupid enough to leave the door open?

"What's going on?" asks Toni.

Anthony and I looked at each other. "Um, nothing. I'm just going over the tour plan with Tash. just to put her mind at ease." He smiles.

Toni marched to the bed and picked up a small pile from the mess of papers. "That's not what it looks like." He says while studying the papers. "Why do you need two hotel rooms, Anthony?"

I felt everything fall apart. "Anyone wanna tell me what the fuck is going on? Why is Natasha suddenly allowed to go on tour with you?"

"Toni, please. You can't tell anyone. We're begging you." Says Anthony, standing up.

Toni sighs and I can see her trying to hold back tears. "This isn't fair. I love you guys but it's not fair that you two get to be together. What about me and John? What about Flea and Loesha, and there daughter?!"

"I know but..." Says Anthony.

"And how am I supposed to lie to John? I love him."

My stomach churns.

I stand up too. "Please Toni. You can't tell anyone. I know it's selfish but I just can't be alone in a strange city without my boyfriend." A poor excuse considering she's probably feeling the exact same way.

She sighs and wipes away tears. "Okay." she whispers. "I won't tell."

I give her a tight hug. "You've gotta swear you won't tell. It will tear the band apart."

"Okay, okay." She fake laughs. "I swear."

I hug her even tighter and Anthony places his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you." He says. "You don't know how much this means to us."

"Well then." She says, wiping away the last of her tears. "I better help you pack. You've got a long trip ahead of you, girl." she smiles.

Later that night

Toni had helped me pack a suitcase and by now I was so exhausted. We had waited till the middle of the night so that no one would suspect anything. I lied back on my bed and stared at the ceiling, thinking about how much I had manipulated everyone around me today.

There was a knock at the door and I sat up quickly.

"Hi love." Whispers John, closing the door softly. I panicked before remembering that I hid my suitcase under the bed.

"Oh, hi." I smile.

He sits down next to me before poking out his bottom lip. "Are you okay?"

I was so close to just pouring out all of my inner worries and fears onto that man. He had... an aura. Like a radiating glow that made me feel like I could say or do anything and it would all be alright.

But instead I took a deep breath like I always do and kept it in. "Yes, I'm fine. It just doesn't seem real, all of this."

"I know. But, I came here because I... I wanted to tell you something, Ash."

I nod and lick my bottom lip.

He gulps and looks at his hands. "Everything is temporary, and... no matter how, how shitty things get, it won't last. Bad things are temporary, but... good things last forever. I... I just wanted to you know that."

Part of me is a little disappointed but I hold his hand and smile. "Thank you, John. I needed to hear that."

He smiles and squeezes my hand. God, his smile was perfection. His teeth were slightly crooked but he had the most beautiful lips.

"Try to stay out of trouble while I'm away, kid." He chuckles.

I give him a nudge and giggle.

"But seriously, stay safe, Ash." He says, gazing into my eyes. "I don't..." He almost whispers, holding onto my cheek with his hand. "I don't want you ever getting hurt."

I lick my lips while staring at his, his free hand still holding mine tight.

He edges slowly towards me before planting a soft kiss on my lips.

He then holds my face with both hands before kissing me harder.

His tongue glides along my lips and I part them obediently. His tongue explores my mouth and he pulls me closer, his hands gripped to my thighs.

The kiss was perfect, but every inch of my body wanted more of him.

I let out a small moan before he pulls away.

"Shit." He whispers, letting go of me. I almost whimper at the loss of contact.

"John, I-"

"No, this was wrong. Ash, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so close to you. You... you should never have come here." He heads for the door.

My throat feels like it's closing up, and I struggle to hold back the burning tears.

"John wait!" I cry, forgetting everyone is asleep.

"No, Natasha, just leave me alone."

I reach out to touch his arm one last time but he pulls away.

And in that moment, I lost everything.

A?N: yooo this was shit

also i'm sitting outside in the backyard and there is such a nice view even tho it's a lil cold but yeah