𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 |-/ rarl

VII

TWO YEARS AGO
ATLANTA, GEORGIA

it was dark in the train station. carl was holding back tears because he hated to cry in public. people would look at him and ask if he was okay. it was awful. he hated the attention.

at the very moment, there were a lot of things he hated for sure. ha hated his dad, he hated school and everyone there, he hated not being able to control his own emotions, he hated photo albums, he hated christmas and mostly he hated himself.

but nothing could compare to the way he hated being scared and insecure. maybe he hasn't thinking it straight, maybe he was making a mistake, but godammit... fuck it was all he could say.

he took a look at the bag he was carrying to see if he had everything and enough money to survive a few days in the chalet.

it was almost 10pm, the train would come any minute now. when he looked back to the stairs to think again if leaving was the right thing to do, he found ron standing up there, looking at him. they shared a moment of silence before carl say it first:

"if you're here to change my mind, forget it." he said and then looked back in the trail direction, arms crossed.

"i know you won't change your mind. you're the most stubborn person i know." he says walking towards him. carl doesn't look at him. he stands still. "but that's what i find most interesting about you."

"ok." carl says heartless.

"your father called. he said you disappeared. asked if i knew something. i tried to talk to him while my dad was spanking my mom for picking up the phone and talking to rick for one second straight."

"i know it sucks. i'm sorry." carl apologizes. "but it's not my fault."

"i knew you'd be here."

"hn." he snorts really cold.

"it sucks, right man?" ron puts both hands on his pockets, he was freezing. "to be alive in this shitty world where bad people take advantage. they run the world. and us? we just get screwed up. over and over."

"so you get it" the grimes says. "will you leave me alone now?"

ron pretends to think about it.

"yeah... i won't."

"i'm afraid to ask it, but why? why on heaven and earth would you care about me now? you never gave a damn about me or anyone else before. you're too busy minding your own shit."

"because..." for the first time he was left no words. he didn't knew what to say, so he sighed. maybe carl was right, after all. he couldn't deny he wanted to do it too. maybe they should leave together. "because you are right, that's why you shouldn't leave it."

"what?" carl finally moved his round blue eyes to ron, analyzing him. he could only be kidding.

"you are right, carl. it sucks. everything sucks on this motherfucking world. i hate it as much as you do. there's nothing i wouldn't give to have your courage and leave everything behind, but... when i first met you, you told me i was strong for defending my family. you said you wanted to be just like me and face your own problems like i was doing back there. why don't you prove yourself you can do it? honestly, you're way much better than all of this. and you know it. you know it..."

carl bitted his own lip trying not to cry, but it was worthless, he let go of the bag to stopple his eyes with his hands.

"i can't take it anymore, ron. it's way too much for me to face it alone."

"but you're not alone!"

"i am. look, i don't want to go. i swear. i swear, if you give me one reason, any reason- if you give me just one reason to stay, i will."

he looked at the blonde, whose sighed. he seemed a bit sad because of his own silence. the train whistled behind them.

"just like i expected," carl said, still crying. "no reason at all." he turned back to reach his bag, but soon felt ron grabbing his arm strongly and pulling him close. once he looked at him, he was already close enough to seal their lips and end the distance between them. physically and emotionally.

carl never knew he could feel his chest constrict while his mind speeded up to one thousand thoughts per hour.

the train kept whistling. again. again. and again. then it left.

carl moved away slowly, splitting up the kiss. he swallowed dry, staring at ron trying to read his mind. what were he thinking? why would he ever do that? was it sincere?

"i missed the train." he concluded. ron nods.

"i'm not going let you go."

carl took two steps back to look inside of her eyes.

"you didn't stopped anything" he announced. "like i said, i'm done."

"i'm happy to think i delayed it a little."

he reaches out to him. carl look at his hand before sighing.

"come on, i know a place you can stay for a few days. just until you talk to your dad." even unsure, carl accepted, taking his hand and climbing the stair together.