Not Even His Assistant 2

Chapter Nine

"Thank you for pretending that you did care about me. It would've been worse if you never smiled at me or spoken to me. I don't know what I would've done if you didn't hold on until I became an adult." I never should've visited. This wasn't solving anything.

"I love you Greyson. Is it wrong that I love my husband too?"

Somebody else might've cried then. It was the first time she told me she loved me since I was ten. I had wanted her to say it again my entire childhood. I would tell her I loved her constantly, write her notes, give her gifts. Nothing. I just clung onto the memory of those men in uniforms telling us dad was dead and that night, through all her tears, her telling me she loved me.

The truth was, she was just going through the stages of grief. She couldn't believe he was dead and telling me she loved me, like he wanted her to, would magically bring him back. But it didn't. He was still dead and her empty words made no difference to me. Coming here was a mistake.

"I'm strong, without you." I told her. She looked up at me blankly. "Despite all my issues, I can handle this world." I paused for a moment. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but knew that I probably shouldn't. "It's about time you go and visit him in the dirt. You could really use the rest." I went ahead and said it.

I adjusted the box in my hands as she continued looking at me, blankly.

"Who are you?" She said.

I smiled. I felt nothing but pity for her. I opened her door and softly closed it behind me. I ignored all the worried nurses and the security guard that was hanging out nearby.

Once outside, I felt like I could breathe. That place gave off this horrible smell of decay.

I unlocked my phone and scrolled through my contacts. I landed on a name I had no good reason to reach out to. But I didn't need any reason to do anything anymore.

"Hello?" I heard his voice come through the other line. It was a voice I hadn't heard in years and one I could never forget.

"Hey Dan, it's me." I responded back to my ex boyfriend. I didn't forget the note he sent my mom. I didn't forget how bad he was to me when we were together. I didn't forget that he had recently come out of jail. I remembered it all and it made no difference.

"Well, well, well." I could almost see the smile on his face, "You changed yo' number, but you never got rid of mines. Ain't that somethin'?"

"I wanna see you," I finally geared my body into action and entered my car. "Can we meet at the Waffle House right now?" I asked. I didn't want to think about anything else, I just wanted to do something.

"You always know what you want. A'ight, I'll see you soon." He said and hung up.

I tossed my phone on the passenger seat. I felt this pang in the pit of my heart as I grabbed the steering wheel tightly. I felt like crying might make me feel better about everything. So I tried. I tried really hard to cry, but I couldn't.

I was empty.

♀

I sat in the booth at Waffle House, checking the time on my phone constantly. Since my mother lived so far out, I figured he'd get here before I did, but there was still no sign of him.

Although Miami was littered with Waffle Houses, I had no doubt he knew exactly which one I was referring to. It was our spot. I even sat at our booth.

I sipped on my orange juice, feeling more and more anxious. It was the kind of feeling that would make anyone want to get up and leave, but for me, it was exactly what I wanted.