데뷔 || Debut

D-29

I know things haven't been great for both of us especially because of how busy we have been. Yet I planned so many things to spend time with her. However, during this time I felt something for someone that I have been trying to hide. I know this myself and I don't want to admit it due to the humiliation I may face with not only my fans but even with the group...

I told y/n I liked her because I really thought I did. Of course, I love her but I think I just love her as a friend, not as a lover. I don't even know her true feelings. Seeing her makes me happy yet seeing the other person makes my day. 

I walk back to my studio and see Sunhee seated. 

Right, I told her I would help her with vocals. 

"Sorry Sunhee I just had to see some things before helping you...let's first start with warming up...

Y/N P.O.V

"Y/n you don't just cry because you are okay. You can tell me you know that." Jungkook was rubbing my back. Taehyung just passed us and he didn't even look at me. I feel like such a disappointment. What am I going to do if I can't get myself together?

Jungkook wasn't speaking anymore but I knew he was watching me. He was waiting for me to see what my next move would be. 

I took a deep breath and stood up. One moment after another I slapped my hands to my cheeks. The sound echoed down the hallway and I turned towards him. 

"I will be fine Jungkook-oppa. I shouldn't let this distract me I have to be stronger than that."

I started walking away before he calls for my name, "You are stronger than you think."

I smile, "Thank you shouldn't you be helping Hoseok and Jimin in teaching Doyeon, Heejin and Yuju dancing?"

"Heejin herself is really good I think she is the one who should teach Jin and Namjoon herself."

We laugh and I head back inside the room. Beomgyu and Yoongi were speaking before I walked in.

"Feel better?" Yoongi looked up with a genuine smile his hair was bleach blond he said he was going to dye it soon but who knows what color. It looks nice on him.

"Very much."

"Okay so y/n Yoongi hyung and I were talking and we were thinking about the lyrics for the song. The rap is all on you and Yuju to decide."

"I already have the lyrics. We are ready to record and show Bang PD." I sat on the couch next to Beomgyu and pulled out my notebook. "I had my rap written that I was planning to do for another song but no other song better than this one."

"Can we hear it?"

****

After about hours in the studio, we were done fixing the rap and the lyrics we were planning to have the girls sing. One by one we took them inside the booth and started their recording. 

Sunhee went up first and did the intro. Her voice was soulful it made you want to hear more. Especially for her age, it's amazing to see how it will develop over the years.

"Unnie are you sure you want to continue with this song?"

"Yes, it's our title song so we need it to be the most capturing."

"Okay..."

By the time she finished her parts, all the girls entered alongside TXT and a few of the BTS members. The studio was crowded as it was already. 

"You guys are going to need to expand this studio if you want to all come in." Namjoon laughed which caused us all to laugh. The only people not here were Taehyung and Jungkook...

I looked at Hoseok to see if he can give me some answers he just shrugged. After the girls went Yuju went for her first part of the rap. 

Once she was done the guys applauded for her, "That's our rapper yes Yuju! Your rap was clear and better to understand. Yuju was foreign so it was hard for her to get used to Korean. Yet she was good even at rapping in english it was good. 

Once it was my turn I looked towards Yoongi who gave me two thumbs up. He wasn't giving me eye contact for a while now, so I didn't know how to feel. 

Suddenly before I started Taehyung walked in with Jungkook. They both looked serious not talking to anyone. They took a seat away from each other and Taehyung stared at me. 

I repeated the lyrics in my head and was concerned that they would know who I was talking about. 

I started rapping one verse after another, "Sometimes, when I act like someone I'm not You always get mad Every time you do that,  I go crazy We're like the clock hands that go around at the same time Like this, like that, like this, like that I look here and there, you're so perfect...I love you"

I didn't realize my eyes were closed the whole time I rapped. Once I opened them they all stayed silent. Taehyung stared at me speechless, motionless, unmoveable. Yoongi looked up and also stared inside the booth. 

Those weren't the words. That wasn't the rap I had practiced with before. The beginning was but after that, it was not. I stared into nothing and just listened to what I just said everyone was still staring and now I realized that I fucked up the lyrics. 

No one really knows who I was talking about. No one will know who I was talking about. I will make sure that no one knows about my feelings. That is my role to hide my feelings. These feelings that will jeopardize the future.

I raise my hand and place the okay sign. I am okay. This is okay...

-To be Continued-