Heartache »Ashton Irwin«

Chapter 20- Just Friends Don't Look At Each Other Like That

It was a long way home, especially when you sit in a warm bus, together with a lot of other loud people. I usually like to take the bus. It’s relaxant and I can let my thoughts flow. It’s been a week since Ashton left and we have texted each other a few times. It’s hard to get a real conversations because on daytime when I work, Ashton is free and when I’m home, he is performing. But if I wanted to talk to him more I would make time for it, maybe I don’t have so strong feelings for Ashton after all? And if he wanted to talk to me, he would call or text me more often. Maybe Ashton isn’t interested in me? According to LeAnne he is, but who knows? Mine and Ashton’s friendship is special and unique, and I don’t want to destroy that because I develop feelings for him. Ashton is too special to me. It means a lot to me that I met Ashton. I did want to recover from my heartache by myself, but I guess I couldn’t. Ashton healed my broken heart and I’m thankful, but I need to stop think about the feelings I have for Ashton because I don’t want to loose him as a friend. Ashton cares and I can’t afford to loose him over some stupid feelings. Nathan contra wise didn’t care at all. He broke my heart like I was made of glass and my heart crushed to the ground like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. 

”Apple!” My mom screamed over the bus station, so basically everyone could hear her. She had a bright smile and her eyes were shining. She seemed happy.  ”Hi mom!” I said as I hugged her. I missed her. So much. I haven’t seen her in two months. Her warm hug made me feel loved and special. Every time I hug my mom I feel like a little child; Happy and careless. ”How are you? Was the bus trip okay? You seem tired? Are you hungry?” She overwhelmed me with questions. ”I’m fine. How are you?” I asked as we started to walk to her car. ”I’m great, I’m happy you finally are here. Steven is looking forward to meet you too” ”I’ve missed him too” I admitted. Steven, my step-dad, is like my real dad. ”So how was the trip?” ”Long and warm” I complained and my mom laughed. ”So how is everything at home?” ”Like usual, nothing has changed. The building of the playground were finished last week, across the street, so it’s a lot of children running around.” She told me and I nodded, to show that I was listening.  I put my bag in the trunk, before I sat down. ”I need to ask you a question” My mom said as she started the car. ”Okay?” ”You’ve been on the magazines lately” My mom wasn’t afraid to bring up the hard and heavy stuff. I rolled my eyes. My mom is very outspoken and I knew this would come up.  ”They call you a gold digger, Apple!” She said anxious. ”I know, it’s all lies” I explained. ”I don’t believe them, I raised you well, but who is the boy you are hanging out with?” ”His name is Ashton” My mom nodded. ”It’s David’s and LeAnne’s friend, so that’s basically how we met” I continued. ”Okay and you hang out a lot, I understand...” ”We are great friends, yeah” My mom laughed at me. ”Just friends?” ”Yes, just friends!” I confirmed. ”In the pictures I’ve seen on you two, in the magazine, especially the one when you walked in the park?” I nodded. It was when Ashton encourage me to get an education.  ”Yeah, what about it?” I asked. ”‘Just friends’ don’t look at each other like that” 

The drive from the bus station home to my moms and Stevens house was long. It took about two hours and half through the ride I feel asleep. ”Apple?” My mom tickled me loose in my stomach. ”Yeah?” I mumbled tired. I opened my eyes, we were still on the road. Why would she wake me? ”Your ‘friend’ is on the radio” She said and did rabbit ears with one hand, when she said friends. ”Okay?” ”I just thought you wanted to listen” I nodded and as I leaned to the window. ”So you guys were front band for One Direction, what a kick start for your carrier.” ”Yeah, it was a huge possibility and we are extremely thankful” One member of the band said, I didn’t know who, but it wasn’t Ashton. ”Now you have a tour in Australia and New Zealand are there any plans of a tour, around the world?” ”We will see what happens” Ashton answered the radio host. ”Okay, you have a lot of fans over seas that would love a full time show by 5sos” ”Yeah, we know, but as I said, we will see what happens” Ashton answered again. ”Okay. You are away, even if it’s still in Australia, from your family? Do you miss them?” ”We do, it’s hard to stay away from the family and friends, but the people in our tour crew kind of become our second family” ”I see. Before the interview I asked some fans on Twitter for questions, is it okay for me to ask them?” ”Of course” ”Okay, first question. What are your underwear colour?” I could hear all of the boys laugh, before they answered, one by one. ”Black” ”Black” ”White” ”Red” ”Okay, next question. Favourite song on the album?” The boys answered more questions and the only voice I could discern were Ashton’s. ”Last question... Are you in a relationship or single?” ”Single” One of the boys answered. ”All of you?” The radio host asked. ”Yeah, but Ashton is really into a girl, back home” One of the boys said before he laughed. ”We are friends” Ashton remarked. ”Sure, I know you fancy her” The same boy said before he laughed harder. ”Is it the girl in the magazines you’ve been spotted with?” The radio host asked. ”Her name is Apple, and we are really good friends” Ashton said and my mom looked at me with a smile on her face. ”But he likes her more than a friend” One of the boys filled in. I smiled inside of me. Maybe LeAnne were right? But it doesn’t matter, because I don’t want to loose my friendship with him. ”I told you we are just friends” I said to my mom.”Yeah yeah” My mom rolled her eyes, like she didn’t believe me, before she parked the car outside the house. I grabbed my bag and walked into the hall. ”Hello?” I screamed. Steven was soon in the hallway. ”Hi Apple. Welcome” He said and hugged me. ”Thank you” Steven looked the same, a little greyer hair maybe. ”Did you buy milk, honey?” Steven asked my mom when she walked into the hall. ”No... Dammit I forgot. I’ll go to the store right away” ”No, I can go” I said, just before my mom was out of the door again. ”You sure?” She asked. ”Yeah, absolutely! I’d love to take a walk in my home town” My mom smiled relived. ”Thanks a lot Apple!” ”Should I buy something more than milk?” I asked. ”No, just milk” Steven answered. ”Okay, I’ll be back in an hour” ”Bye!” I walked out of the house again. The air was warm and sultry. Most of the time the Australian weather is perfect, but sometimes it get’s to warm and sultry.  My thoughts began and I started to think about Nathan and the times when we used to walk hand in hand in these streets. His hand fitted perfectly in mine. I need to stop thinking of him. I’m over him. I need to persuade myself that I’m over him so one day I believe it. The thing I hate about this is that if I met Nathan and he indicates somehow that he wants me back, I wouldn’t even considering it. I would take him back right on the spot....  Stop! Just a few seconds ago I promised myself I would get over him. I will not take him back! He broke my heart and left too many irreparable cuts. I walked into the store and to the milk corner. I grabbed a milk before I walked to the pay desk. It was a few people ahead of me in the line. And when I thought (or at least tried to persuade myself) that I was over Nathan, I saw him standing in front of me in the line.