What a Catch, Andi|| Brendon Urie

The One Where Everything Comes To An End

TRIGGER WARNING!

(Andi's POV)
*Two year time skip*

This has been one of the headrest two years of my entire life.

Everything was going so beautifully in my life before hand, and I knew it couldn't stay like that forever. I just didn't know things could get so bad so fast...

A year and a half ago today, I fell down the stairs and shattered my already injured knee. I've had numerous surgeries and have just learned to walk once again, except I can't get around anywhere without using a cane for balance.

So, that sucks.

But then, almost a year ago, my best friend Meredith was killed in a car crash. Some ass hole hit her head on, and then drove off. How the other driver wasn't injured as well was beyond me.

So... my life hasn't been so great. I was forced to quit my job because I couldn't stand on my own anymore. I've been so depressed that I have no motivation to crest youtube videos, so I just don't anymore and they've stopped paying me.

I don't sing anymore because it was something that made me happy... And I'm not happy. At all. Whatsoever.

I don't do anything anymore.

After Meredith died, I was an absolute wreck. To the point where I wasn't a functional human being anymore and my family was forced to check me into a mental hospital for a few days.

Brendon and I are now living together in the house he bought me. I want to move just because everything reminds me of Meredith, but I can't do that to Brendon. I would feel awful after he gave me this house I once loved.

But yet again, I won't let anyone touch her room. It's been the same way as she left it the day she died.

It's got to be extremely unhealthy, but I go full on tantrum mode if anyone tries to even go near her room.

... I feel bad that Brendon has to be with me. He takes me care of me, as does Pete, and I wish they wouldn't. They have real, actual lives waiting for them. And I'm just their nag of a distraction.

A complete and utter waste of time.

I hate this... I hate life.

I push everyone away, even though Pete and Brendon try to get through, they can't. I'm officially locked off forever.

And I wish I had a happy ending for you, but I really don't.

This is it, this is life.

And it absolutely sucks.

~~~

I thought it'd be better off this way.

I could never imagine being the one that found a dead body, so I didn't want my loved ones to go through that. That just seemed cruel.

So, I told Brendon that I was visiting my grandmother and left for the night.

It felt as if I was keeping some sort of huge secret that was giving me really intense anxiety. I mean, I guess I did have this huge secret but it wasn't like I could tell anyone either.

I went to a hotel and rented a room for only a night. It was ten a.m. when I couldn't wait any longer and I just needed to get it over with. I didn't want to hold onto these moments, I just needed to do it.

I didn't think I'd cry this much, but there I was, waterfalls flowing from my eyes. I shook my head, popping open the pill bottle. I wiped my eyes, never bothering to look in the mirror at myself as I stuff the pulls down my throat.