Weightless (lashton au)

Chapter fourteen

But at the same time he hit me, I stuck my leg out and forcefully tripped him, and I finally felt the pain from his punch on my cheek as my uncle fell to the floor, a framed picture falling with him and breaking with a shatter.

"Fuck fuck fucking shit." I gasped as tears fell freely down my cheeks, a hand flying to my mouth as I processed what I had just done.

It so happened that he had hit his head on the frame on the wall as he fell, since the hallway was narrow. And fuck my uncle showed no signs of getting up from the floor and giving me what I deserve and I thought that I would be triumphant, that knocking out the disgusting man would be a dream but I was shaking and I saw the impact of the pointed frame had left an open wound on his head and blood was pouring out of it and my stomach was churning and I was going to be sick-

I hastily stepped over my uncle's limp body and pieces of broken glass, practically ripping the bathroom door open as I was already gagging and sweating. I took one last shaky breath before I hopelessly emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl, choking and sputtering.

My previous adrenaline was long gone as I curled up into a ball on the cold bathroom floor, choked up with tears and a sore throat. I didn't mean for everything to end up like this. Like shit. I should've just let my uncle have at me, but I fought back and now he's probably going to die from losing so much blood, I'll be sent to jail for man slaughter and oh fuck fuck fuck I would call the ambulance but we had no money to pay for the hospital bills and I had no idea how any of that shit worked and I haven't felt so lonely and sad for so long and god I just wanted to-

I wanted to die.

I wanted my blade again.

I wanted to feel something besides hurt and fear.

But I couldn't, I couldn't I couldn't because Luke would be so disappointed if I relapsed and I don't want him to have to worry about me.

Instead of reaching for the razor in the cabinet, I reached for my phone in my pocket and quickly tapped on Luke's contact.

After two rings, he picked up.

"Hi babe, what's up?" Luke voice was sweet and calming to me and he sounded happy, and I knew I was about to ruin that.

"L-Lukey I-" I choked out, everything came flooded back to me; the tears began forming in my eyes again as my stomach ached and churned.

"Ashton? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Luke kept blurting out questions and I heard him rustling around on the other end of the phone, this situation was all to familiar and it was so fucking sad that this was just a thing, Luke fussing over my pathetic life and saving me from my problems.

"I-I need you. Please." I needed him so fucking bad and I felt terrible for always needing him like I need air to breathe.

"Shit I'll be there as soon as I can just stay where you are don't do anything don't harm yourself I'm-" Luke took a breath, and I could hear background noises and I knew he was sprinting all the way here and I felt guilty as hell for making him do this.

"F-fucking hell Luke I'm so sorry for making you do all this for me I'm sorry-" As if a hand was around my neck physically choking me, the tears and just being upset prevented the sentence to be finished as I pitifully laid on the cold tile floor.

Luke hushed me through the phone, "Stop thinking like that, I'm doing this because I love you and I fucking care about you so much and I'm almost there you'll be okay, god Ashton I-" Luke sounded really upset at this point and I was feeling more and more guilty and stupid by the second.