I-A-D-O-R-E-Y-O-U ✦ Grayson Dolan

27-Hell

My black dress moves in the wind as I walk to the podium. With all my strength I look over the large crowd.

Holding the yellow piece of paper closer to me I try and open my mouth but nothing comes out.

"I-" a cry comes out but I put my hand over my mouth.

The audience didn't stop the water flowing out of my eyes.

I look at the golden framed picture and see her beautiful smiling face.

My heart blamed itself, I couldn't rap my mind over the subject.

Her innocent beautiful soul was taken from her body,used and abused.

My love felt stomped on by my lifestyle. What was I living for? Death.

Are we all just living to die? How did someone so pure as Lea deserve to die but I don't?

"I met Lea when I was young and pregnant with my first child." I struggle to get out messing with my wedding ring to calm my nerves.

"We bonded over the foster care system and siblings. Lea-" I stop,it was hard for me to say her name.

"L-Lea was only supposed to stay a week or two but we got close,so close we were like sisters within a week." I kept stoping myself to keep from choking up.

"She wanted to wait until I had the baby. Lea was my bestfriend, she was the only true girl friend I've ever had." I cancel the speech and speak from the heart.

"One day Lea was holding my two year old daughter and I asked her if she believed in God. She said 'how could I not believe in someone who gave me this beautiful life with this amazing family.' and from that day I've never pitted her or her life choices." I say looking in the crowd.

My eyes land on my love and comfort surrounded me. He wasn't crying like everyone else but he wasn't happy. He had his remorse look on,staring me in the eye.

Then everyone stands and looks back. My eyes follow to the brown casket. I couldn't take it seeing her bother caring her body to her grave.

I run down the steps and it's like Grayson already knew my next moves because he was up from his seat with open arms.

I eloped myself in his strong arms, crying for a greater power.

The brown box is placed down gently and Emma gets up and kisses Jack on the cheek.

Jack gives her a smile smile before walking over to me. He opens his arms for me and I move away from Grayson and hug him. His arms weren't as big or warm as Gray's but he was comforting.

The pastor walks up to the podium and everyone sits. Jack walks to me to the front after I give Grayson a kiss.

Me and Jack take our seats and a beautiful ceremony was preformed.

Then it was time to say our final goodbyes.

Me and Jack go up and place roses on her casket and everyone behind us throws soil in.

People came up giving us condolences and prayers.

I thanked them and hugged them.

Most people didn't like that but I needed the support. I wanted the prayers, I needed to feel better for my kids.

I wasn't allowed to seen them until I was one hundred percent healed from what I went through.

My face was healed but the scars were all over my body. The mental scars were deeper then any physical pain I was in.

I agreed to not seeing them with Grayson for their own good. Violet was terrified of blood and bruises.

I don't know how Grayson and I have a daughter who inherited that but it makes me happy she's afraid of it. I don't want her in this life or the twins.

I was tried of this life but I couldn't leave. I chose it and it's mine now.

No one is gonna take it front me.

I cursed myself with this.

_ _ _

"Grayson baby, Could you unzip my dress?" I ask and he comes out from the bathroom. His hands trail down my back.

I move my long black hair and his large hands take hold of the zipper and pull it gently down.

He takes in my scars. This was his first time seeing my body since the attack.

His lips came down and place pepper kisses on my skin. "I love your body no matter what happens to it. It's mine to worship. Your scars are my scars. I'd cut my skin to praise your body." He whispers against my spine.

Something in me said this was wrong. I just held the funeral for my bestfriend. Then there was the other half telling me to let him take control.

I could hear Lea yelling at me from heaven saying to 'get some girl'. That's the way she was. Crazy,stupid,and weird all mixed. She loved it, that's why we were bestfriends.

My mind goes fuzzy when his hands drop my straps attached to my dress.

My naked body was on display for his eyes.

He picked me up and throws me on the bed and walks over dominating me.

He touched me with such gentle affection that night. He was sure to show me love in everything he did. From holding me hand to whispering sweet poems in my ear.