Louis, and Harry arrive home, hand in hand. Harry does seem a bit distant though.
"I had a great night, Haz..." Louis tells him, once they're fully inside.
Harry smiles, although the smile doesn't make his dimples pop out like they usually do. "So did I, baby..." he leans down a gives Louis a soft kiss. "How about you go upstairs, and hop into bed, I've got some work to finish up on, but I'll be up there soon, okay?"
"Okay, Hazzy, I'll see you soon," Louis gets on his tippy toes, and gives Harry a kiss on the cheek, before heading upstairs, a little worried about Harry.
Harry sits on the couch, and gets his phone out ready to continue emailing some people. But stops when he remembers what the lady said to him, and Louis... It brought back a lot. And Harry doesn't know how to deal with it. He never wanted to be called it again...
Harry's vision starts to get blurry, as he tries to log into his phone.
He can't cry. Cant act like a baby.
But it happens, the first tear slips from his eye. Harry sets his phone down, and brings his knees up to his chest, and rests his head onto them. He needs to stop himself, he can't have Louis see him like this. It's embarrassing. Embarrassing how this still effects him after all these years. That one word. That one word that brings back so many memories. So many bad memories.
He chokes out a sob, trying to keep quiet, but failing.
The images of his angry father beating him until he couldn't move from pain, flash through his mind.
Harry bites his lips, "you need to stop," he whispers to himself.
This just brings on more tears, because of how completely pathetic he feels.
He tugs at his hair angrily, he knows he hurt Lou too. Which causes another sob to escape through his lips. He pushed him away, when he should've held him closer... Louis doesn't deserve those words spat him. He is too precious for that, and Harry was supposed to protect him.
But, no. All he could do was act like a baby, and Harry feels so much anger towards himself.
He knows he is going to continue to hurt, Louis. He is going to be scared of the homophobic remarks they will most likely get. He will have to distance himself from Louis when Jay comes back, and he knows his boy will hate it. Harry doesn't want to hurt Louis anymore then he has too.
Harrys heart thumps against his chest, he needs to calm himself down. If he thinks too much about the past, he will have to find a way to cope like he did in the past. And he can't do that... He has come too far to go back into stupid habits. He struggles to breathe, as he tries to hold in cries. He can't help it, and can't seem to stop himself.
After crying for a little while longer, Harry finally manages to calm himself. He walks into the bathroom, and stares into the mirror. His eye catches the tattoo of the two roses on his wrists, the tattoo that hides his secrets. He sighs to himself, and watches his face, before turning off all the lights, and heading upstairs to Louis. His boy.
________________________ 💙💚
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I'm so happy! Thank you guys for getting it there! I love you all. 🤗💕
