Burning up ☞︎ A Jesse st. James Fan Fic

Theatricality

I'm sitting next to Noah and Matt when Tina walks in wearing a grey sweatshirt and sits in front of me. We all look at her curiously.

"It's so weird." Artie says gawking at her.

"This so isn't you." Finn blurts out.

"I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian." Tina says.

"Tina, are there any other looks you can try?"

"Biker chick?" Santana suggests. Others start to do the same.

"Cowgirl?" Says Finn.

"Hood rat." Says Mercedes.

"Computer programmer." Says Quinn. What Look would that be exactly?

"Cross- country skier." Says Brittney.

"Catholic schoolgirl." Noah suggests. I smack him upside the head. Tina turns down all of these looks; as would I.

"Look, I appreciate it, guys, but it just isn't me. I know who i am, and I'm not allowed to show it. It's like communism." Tina rants.

"Guys, we have a serious problem. You know how I've been doing some deep background in vocal adrenaline?" Rachel storms in.

"Isn't that against the rules?" Artie asks.

"Who cares." I scoff.

"No, not at all. Or probably. Whatever" Rachel ignores my comment.

"Anyway, what I figured out; I rooted through the dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights." Rachel presses.

"Oh, no." Tina's voice wavers.

"Which led me to Joelle fabrics. I asked them about red chantilly lace. They were sold out." Rachel yells. Realization hits me.

"Dammit!" I hiss.

"Oh, sweet Jesus." Mercedes adds.

"Oh, my." Kurt gasps. Realization starting to hit the others.

"Wait, what?" Mr. Shue asks clueless.

"They're doing Gaga!" I say looking over to Kurt.

"That's it. It's over." Mercedes voices our thoughts.

"Exactly!" Rachel's shouts.

"We should have guessed it. They're going for full-out theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them." Kurt curses.

"What's up with this Gaga dude? He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?" Noah asks looking at me. Rachel and I scoff in unison.

"Lady Gaga is a woman. She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary- pushing, the most theatrical performer of our generation, and she changes her look faster then Brit changes sexual partners." Kurt's bursts out, shouting mostly at Noah.

"That's true." Brit murmurs.

"It makes sense that vocal adrenaline would pay homage. It's a brilliant move. She's a perfect fit for them." Artie explains. Some of us nod along with his words.

"Hold on a second. We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here. We can help Tina find a new look and find a competitive number for regionals. This week, your assignment; Gaga." Mr. Shue says with suspense. Most of us gasp and look excited. Kurt mostly.

"Pens, we need pens. My ideas just come to me." Rachel says snapping her fingers.

"Uh, my office. Right there." Mr. Shue points.