RoadTrip Oneshots

I'm Fine ( Handy )

He was no longer the broken boy that couldn't for all in the world put a smile on his face. That was not who he was anymore, because he couldn't be that boy, there was no time to be that boy. Nobody had the time for him to be broken, and so they told him.

There wasn't time for him to feel down and to sit alone in his room and cry. It was just no time, he had to be fine, and they told him that too. When he said that he couldn't, they had told him to fake it. He needed to be fine, or at least they needed him to fake it. They didn't really care that much.

The broken boy was still there, behind all the layers of fake smiles, laughers and words. None of it was real, none of it was him. He wanted out, and he wanted to be alone, to not have to see Rye all the time. He wanted Rye to care, he want Rye to not be fine with it. Also he wanted Rye to stop being afraid, he wanted Rye to stand up for what he believed and to show Andy that what they had before actually mattered.

That Andy actually mattered.

He wouldn't believe that it hadn't been real, that it had all been a joke on him. That he had been the only one that had been in love, and that Rye had just been pretending. It was too real for him to have been faking. It had to be, or else Andy would break even more, if that were even possible.

They all pretended not to see when Andy kept breaking down in front of them. All the boys would leave or just let him sit there alone and cry. Rye would laugh and tell him he was just a big baby. They would joke about it and say he was stupid for believing, for actually believing that Rye had loved him.

For them it was all a joke, he was a joke. Just something for them to make fun of.
He tried to stop caring, he didn't want to care about them. He had loved all of them, they had been his family.

They had meant the world to him, and he thought that they had felt the same. As stupid as that was now, he still believed it sometimes. They had all been alone and when they were put together he believed that he found somewhere he would fit in.

Somewhere where people would accept him for him.

How wrong had he been?

It was stupid to still care, he knew that. Andy didn't want to, he just couldn't stop. They had been his best friends for two years. His only best friends ever. Nobody else had ever wanted to be around him more than a few days before.

Nobody had ever been his friend for so long before. He didn't understand what had happened. Or well he did. He just didn't understand why that was such a big deal, why they could still be friends.

Andy didn't understand why they all hated him now. And why they didn't hate Rye. Maybe because Rye had been the one to call it of, to say that it was wrong and that they could never do it again.

Rye had told Andy that it was wrong of them and that it was disturbing and disgusting and that he regretted it with all his heart. All the things that had come out of Rye mouth had broken Andy down, piece by piece. First he had thought that Rye was only afraid of being gay and didn't mean what he was saying.

Andy thought that Rye would come to his senses and see that what they had was true love. After all, they had been sort of together for months. Rye had even told him that he loved him. Rye said that he loved Andy, more than one time. And Andy said it back, because Andy really did love Rye.

It all came crashing down so suddenly, and he knew why now. It was all because of her. She had done it, and she was the reason that he was broken. She was the reason Rye didn't love him anymore. She and her stupid ideas of what love could and couldn't be.

Who said that what she said was the right, that love could only be what she said it was. Rye had hated her in the beginning, he had told Andy how stupid she was and how she could never shut the fuck up.

He had told Andy that everything she said was bullshit. She was never something Andy worried about. She was always some stupid girl that wasn't important. Until she was.

It had all be a big shock for Andy, how his boyfriend suddenly wasn't in love with him anymore. How his boyfriend suddenly got an actual girlfriend. They had been fine, they had been great. One day Rye had just told him that it was over and how it hadn't ever been real.

He told Andy that Nicole was the one for him, and how he always knew that he should be with a girl, had how Andy had poisoned him.

It was then all the awful words came, and they just kept coming until there was noting left of Andy. He was just broken and all the pieces were lost.

All the other boys have taken Rye's side right away, because they all loved Rye the most. He was the funny and friendly one, and Andy was the awkward and shy one, that never really talked that much. So when Rye started to be mean, they all started.

All of them told Andy to stop being a baby and to grow some balls. They all told him that being gay was wrong and that if they could deicide they would make Andy leave the band. Every chance they got, they would do whatever they could to bring him down and make him feel like shit.

Andy had no one.

He was all alone and he had no idea of who he could talk to or who would accept him.

But then Harvey happened, and he slowly made Andy realise that it was fine for him to be gay. Harvey was the best thing that could happen to him.

He took the broken boy Andy had become and tried to put the pieces back together. It was something that took loads of work, and Harvey took it as a victory every time he could make Andy smile for real or laugh.

He told Andy that it was okay, and that the other boys were wrong and that what they said was bullshit.

Harvey told Andy how Rye himself was afraid of being gay and therefore let it go out over Andy. He told him that Rye wasn't what Andy needed and that he never would. Rye would never love Andy the way Andy needed him to, and Rye would never be good enough for Andy.

All the time he spent with Harvey made Andy remember how it was to be happy, he was no longer broken, or not as broken as he had been.

He even started to catch himself smiling for himself when he was alone. It was still a long way for Andy to go before he was happy, but he was getting there. With the help of Harvey.

No matter how happy Harvey made Andy, he also made Andy sad. Because finally getting over Rye and everything he had done. Andy realised that he was falling for Harvey. He didn't want that, because Harvey had told him that they were only friends.

Harvey was only a child, and Andy was too old for him. Andy wanted him so bad, but he knew that it would never happen, and being afraid of a repeat of what happened with Rye, Andy kept his mouth shut.

Months went by and Andy distanced himself more and more form the band. Now he only saw them when he had to. And seeing how they had time of now, he hadn't seen any of them in two months.

Harvey however he saw almost every day, and he was now deeply in love with the younger guy. Harvey didn't know, or Andy thought he didn't.

Because Andy didn't show that he loved him, or at least he tried not to. It would be really awful if he knew. Andy couldn't stand loosing Harvey, then he would be all alone.

On Andy's 25th birthday he was woken up by someone ringing on his doorbell in the early morning, Andy had stumbled out of bed and opened the door before even realising that he was only in his underwear.

The person standing on the outside had been Harvey with a big present in his hands and a big smile on is face. Taking in Andy with his eyes and smiling even wider when noticing Andy's lack of clothes.

"Happy birthday" was all Harvey had said before walking inside and giving Andy his present. He had just been standing there waiting for Andy to open it, and he had almost looked nervous.

For being so big, the present was surprisingly light, and when Andy opened it, he got the biggest shock of his life. Inside it was only a letter and the words written was something Andy would never forget.

I love you.

It was so simple and beautiful and Andy had never felt so happy.

He had looked up at Harvey and before he knew it they were kissing and telling each other who much they loved each other.