touch me e.d

thirty-two

recap: ethan and rose had an argument at the party when she told him how he wasn't the only one who caught feelings and how he was a coward for pushing her away. chloe realized who the mysterious guy was that rose was hooking up with. rose goes back home breaking down about lia and ethan and how stupid she felt about the whole thing because her dad was right again. jonathan gives ethan advice to go after her but he doesn't.

chapter 32 pt.2

ethan;

"i made a move on the guy who she messed around with and who she now likes. you knew this whole time. this is what charlie tried telling me earlier," she goes on and i can't help but feel even worse then before when i seen rose run off with the tears flowing in her eyes.

i freeze looking at chloe going on about how fucked up it was of us to kiss in the first place. "say something," she pleaded and i think she hoped i say that this isn't her fault that it's mine because she didn't know anything about it but i did.

so i give in and give her what she wants. "it's not your fault it's mine for not saying anything. i was just so mad and i know it doesn't justify anything but i don't know how to admit to myself about rose on how i feel about her," i start rambling not being able to stop.

i keep saying whatever comes to mind, a habit i do when i'm nervous or i'm feeling guilty. "i hate what i said to her, i lied to her. i just wanted to make her jealous because she was always with jonathan when she wasn't with me. now i said awful things to her making her feel like shit. i..." but i finally stop rambling once i realize what i was doing

whatever i'm saying now she'll tell rose. "i'm going to be straight up with you, you need to apologize to her," she said

i shake my head. i can't.

you're going to repeat the same mistakes just let her go

my thoughts start to make me doubt myself. "i think it's best if she gets with someone like jonathan as much as i don't like him." i tell her

she lets out a sigh. "while we are arguing she can be crying, talk to her. tell her what you told me stop bitching," she tells me
—
monday morning

ethan;

i walk in school searching all over rose to apologize about what happened at the party. i don't know what i'm going to say but i need to speak to her.

"she can be crying.." i hear chloe's voice in the back of my head

i don't want to be the reason why she's crying not after how i seen her break down about lia. i can see how that haunts lia, i don't need the same.

i walk up to charlie. "where's rose?" i asked still looking around

he rolls his eyes at me. "why can you leave her alone?" he said

"i need to speak to her." i tell him but he just scoffed

"yeah, like how you did at the party? i don't think so ethan. she already had lia break her heart i don't think she needs you being 2nd in line for that. if you really care about her leave her alone," he says as if he was threatening me

he leaves me alone standing like an idiot in the hallway just looking all over the place repeatedly. i continue to text her phone but i'm sure she blocked me since i can't see anything on any of her accounts.

at this point i don't know what to do. if i even find her how will i apologize? i don't know what i'll say besides that i'm sorry.

rose;

"mom, can i stay in today i don't feel good," i tell her but before she answers my dad walks in with such an angry face.

she looks at me concerned but she won't ask because he's here. "que tienes? es por el verdad?" she asked me in spanish and she only did this when she didn't want me dad to understand [translation: what's wrong, it's because of him isn't it]

"no quiero ablar del ahorita," i said back while my dad stood there looking at us annoyed. [translation: i don't want to talk about him right now]

"english," my dad spat looking at us bothered by us talking in spanish. he was only annoyed because he has no clue what we are saying. my mom offered many times to teach him but he never cared. this is what he gets for marrying a mexican woman.

"ok, no vas a ir a la escuela pero no le digas nada a tu papa," she tells me with a smile on her face. [translation: you won't go to school but don't tell your dad]

"i'm taking rose to school today."  my mom says as she's reaching for the keys and my dad just continues to drink his coffee. "goodbye, honey," she said kissing him

"come on let's go," she says walking out the door and now i was confused because i thought i wasn't going to school. we get in the car and she starts the car.

"rose, please talk to me." she pleads. i know how important it is for her for us to have some sort of bond. i can see the worry written all over her face it's not hard to see that i'm obviously not sleeping and how puffy my eyes are.

i sighed. "i feel stupid," i let out and it wasn't what she needed to hear but it wasn't a lie. "i feel like i'm in a cycle where it's never ending," i tell her as she's driving

"about ethan?" she asked

i feel like i'm going to start crying again just hearing his name. i feel like a complete moron just letting him in my little world that no one knew about besides lia. i let him in and we were always so intimate.

i let him.

"yes, it's like with lia again just that we weren't actually together. what's worse is that i knew it was going to end this way." i go on telling her, the more i talked the better it felt to let this out this keeping it stored in my head.

she stops driving and we were in a park i would visit everyday then i suddenly stopped because it reminded me of lia. "rose, you can't let things take over you like this. your dad may be an asshole at times but the truth is we both hated seeing you so torn especially when i didn't know what to do or say," her voice croaks

i look at her as her eyes start watering. "you stopped coming here because of her, you let something special go because of memories. i know you're not telling me the whole story between you and ethan but i think you should talk to him.."

"hear me out, maybe he does feel the same way but is scared to act out on it. didn't you say how he also dated lia. if that doesn't work out then i think it's best you move on," she said
—
ethan;

"chloe, have you seen rose? i can't find her," i asked but she shakes her head. i think she didn't even come to school

fuck. i need to talk to her

—-
hi ty for 3k 😖

thoughts?

—maritza 🖤