The Remasking

Chapter 16

August 1, 2009

 

As Ava seemed to remain quiet and hidden, the world began to question her loyalty to Michael.  After the memorial, where she had no words, she disappeared.

So when Liliana finally returned to Los Angeles, all eyes were on her.  Helicopters caught live footage of her leaving the airport.

“This is ridiculous,” she complained in the car.  She pushed back her date of arriving to the city partially because she was expecting this.  This is what she was afraid of.  The last thing she wanted was the world’s attention.

Most thought she was on her way to her condo but she wasn’t.  She was on her way to see her most beloved friend.  Dame Elizabeth Taylor.

She had been in and out of the hospital due to testing for her various health problems, including her scoliosis.  Being that Elizabeth was now tied down to a wheelchair, Liliana wanted to be there for her friend.

“Are you comfy?” Liliana asked fluffing Elizabeth’s pillows for the tenth time.

“Stop it. I’m fine.”  Liz’s eyes narrowed and followed Liliana as she walked around the bed and took a seat at the end of it.  “What’s wrong with you?  And you’re very late on arrival.  You told me you’d be here weeks ago.”

“I know, Liz.”  Liliana huffed with a following smirk as she pushed herself back on the bed.

“You ready to tell me what happened now?”

“I couldn’t discuss it over the phone.”

“Well, what is it?”

Liliana’s attentive eyes rested on Liz’s.  “I received a letter in the mail.  And it was from Michael.”

Elizabeth’s eyes grew with fear.  “What-what do you mean?” she struggled.

“It was dated June 25th.”

Liz exhaled with relief.  “Oh.  What did it say?”

“A lot.  It threw me right back down the hole.  I couldn’t stop reading it.  I couldn’t get out of bed.”  Liliana’s voice became light.  “I still can’t believe he’s gone,” she spoke softly, shaking her head.

“I know, honey.  I can’t either.” Liz’s arm found its way around Liliana’s shoulder.  “But we’ll see him again.  I promise you that.”

~*~

When the sun went down and it was the moon’s time to hover, Liliana sat up in her guest bed with a heavy mind.

Resting on her lap was the very letter she knew by heart now.  But when her eyes would scan the paper and she would feel along his inked words, she felt that much closer to him again.

June 25th, 2009

 

To Liliana,

It’s late. It’s early. I don’t know.  But I cannot sleep. I can’t call you. I can hardly write.  I apologize in advance for my penmanship and whatever mistakes I make. But I must write this to you.  I’m running out of time. To come clean.  I know you’re upset with me for not telling you the whole truth but I won’t compromise your safety.

But if anything happens to me, just know I am safe.  I’ll finally be free.  Free from all the pain.  The day will come.  I don’t know when but when so, please stay strong for our children.  And if you read this letter in my absence… I miss you too.

I know you’re crying and that’s okay.  Because I am too.  I love you and the kids so much.  If it weren’t for you my dream of becoming a father wouldn’t have ever came true.  Thank you for giving me life.  Literally.  And for giving it a meaning.

I pray so much for our marriage.  I wish it would have never ended. I wish Blanket was birthed from your womb, I wish we were stronger beings. Life could’ve been different.

After our divorce I realized how weak we are as lone individuals.  I believe we made each other strong.  Our bond repelled the vultures.  But we were fighting our own demons deep down and it tore us apart.

Once they saw us sweat, the allegations resurfaced, the trial killed me, I ran away, and the threats began to happen.  Everything just fell apart.  I don’t want to blame you or myself so I’m blaming us.

I have the right to.  We vowed for this never to happen.  For better or for worse.  In sickness and in health.  I was sick.  And you left me.

I was taking all of the medicine NOT because I had an addiction and craved a high.  I took it because I was sick.  I couldn’t sleep.  I couldn’t eat.  I was in constant pain.  You weren’t making it any better.  Never at my side.  You stopped returning home at night to spend time with a man you allowed yourself to fall in love with.

Then you just blamed everything on me.  I take responsibility for not being there as much as you needed.  For disappearing when things got tuff…

I shouldn’t be going down this road.  I’m sorry but these are things that I have been built up inside of me.

But I forgive you for everything.  For all of it.  What kind of person would I be if I didn’t…

I love you.  I’m crazy for you and I used to question if that was a good thing or bad thing because of all the pain you put me through.

But it’s good.  I’ve convinced myself.  I’m sorry I couldn’t give you whatever it is that you need.  But I will try.  For now on, for however long I have to try. 

From this very moment on, I vow to love you for eternity and give you my everything.  I don’t want to ever lose you again.

But if I do, and you’re reading this in my absence, Liliana I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I am so sorry that we ran out of time.

 

Love forever,

Michael.