Every Last Piece

chapter seventeen

"Why not?" Sadie asks. "It'd be so rad."

"Yeah, we saw him play last week," Ethan says, his arm slung over Clarissa's shoulder. "It was wicked. You're so lucky, Jill."

Lucky? Yeah, right. "You can go ask him yourselves. It's not like he's hiding."

"He might actually come if you ask him," Shae says. "Come on, Jill, don't be lame."

"Hey, piss off." Carson lights his smoke with his white Bic. "She doesn't wanna talk about her dad so just shut up."

"Wow, testy," Sadie says, and everyone laughs.

Carson scoffs. "You guys are dicks. C'mon, Jill, let's get some air."

"Agreed." I stand and storm down the beach, trying not to let them see how much they've bothered me. They all know what my dad did; they were there for the aftermath. For weeks after Dad left, I'd have tantrums in class where I'd start crying and have to leave. But I shouldn't expect a single person here to care about me. They aren't family.

"Blue, wait, man!" Shae shouts, but we keep moving. Everyone's whispers echo across the beach.

"Wow, he's really changed. He used to be cool. What happened?"

I hug myself, and Carson increases his pace to stay next to me. The moon is a dull splotch behind the overcast sky, and the lake licks the shore.

"Hey, don't worry about them," Carson says.

"It's fine. I should've known people would bug me about my dad."

We fall silent. I kick at the stones, and Carson takes a long drag, exhaling it into the night sky.

"My mom keeps bugging me to bring you over again," he says.

"I don't really want to see your brother for a while. No offense."

"None taken. He's a dick." Pause. "Hey, so, did you like... feel sick at all this week? Like after you slept over."

I frown at him. "No, but I have a tough immune system. Why, what's wrong?"

"I... I don't know. Forget it. It's nothing."

"Carson?"

Pinching his brows together, Carson takes off toward the bushes. "Be right back. I—I gotta piss."

He disappears into the foliage. Alone on the beach, I stare out into the water. Carson's been acting weird since we hooked up. Not about us or our relationship—we're closer than ever, especially when I drive him home after work and take a little detour to get some "alone time" in. But he's had a lot of headaches. Maybe he has the flu; Val's still at home even though it's been a week. There've been no shortage of texts from her, though, and she almost lost it when she found out Carson and I slept together.

"Hey, where'd Blue go?" Shae jogs up to me.

I turn away. "He'll be right back."

He puts his hands in the pockets of his skinny jeans. "Look, sorry about all that. It wasn't cool for everyone to team up on you about your dad."

It catches me off guard, but I force a smile. "Thanks, Shae."

After a heavy silence, Shae says, "Can I just say something? Blue's probably going to kick my ass if he finds out, but someone has to say it."

"Okay, shoot."

"It's just—I don't get you. I thought you were like, super against drugs."

"I am."

"So you date... Blue."

"He's changing, Shae. He hasn't used in a while."

"Yeah? And what if he starts again?"