Everyone in the small town of Hull knows two things. One: Jill Williams doesn't date, and two: Carson Blue is addicted to drugs.
When Carson decides to clean up his act and apply at Jill's family restaurant, she's less than enthused. Between school...
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MY PALMS ARE CLAMMY by the time Carson and I get upstairs. It's not every day I hug a boy, and it's not every day I invite him into the apartment alone with me. The only guys who've ever been up here are Nolan and Tim—and probably Matias, without my knowing.
Holding the door open for Carson is like welcoming him into my universe. The one that exists beyond whatever facade I put on at school and when I'm at work. His cheeks are blotchy and his eyes are wide with wonder as he looks around. Our place is dinky, but the open-concept between the kitchen and the living room make it breathable. Mom's rustic antiques decorate the area, though half this stuff came from Grandma, especially the floral wall tapestries and throws laying over the couch.
"Well, this is it," I say. "Small, I know."
He drops his backpack on the living room floor. Mom tries to keep our place organized, but there's so little space all our furniture's crammed together. We don't even have room for a kitchen table, just a coffee table made of maple. A bookshelf reaches the ceiling filled with cookbooks and fiction, and pots of plants hang in the windows with unruly leaves spilling from them. My guitar is propped up against the arm of our turquoise couch. When Carson sits, I wipe my hands on my pants and join him. We've been alone so many times, but never alone alone.
Carson leans back into the cushions, and our shoulders are so close we're nearly touching. "So, you feeling better?"
"Yeah." I twirl a piece of my hair between my fingers. "I'm just sad tonight had to go like that. Nolan was really upset, too. I keep wanting to protect him, shield his eyes from how dysfunctional our family is, but... it's impossible. Plus, I've been trying to lay off Nolan since he told me I'm overbearing."
"That kid is lucky to have you. I bet Nolan'll realize that when he's older." He laughs a little. "My brothers just beat my ass whenever I do something they don't like. I wish they were more like you."
Along the side of his face, the marks from when Lucas shoved him in ceramic have gone white. Scars like that fade, but never disappear completely. I open my mouth to say something—to comment on how he doesn't deserve that—but he beats me to it.
"Your mom seems like a good sister to your aunt too."
"Yeah, she is. My mom wasn't perfect when she was younger—I mean, she had me when she was my age and was with some wannabe rock star, but Colleen caused a whole other barrel of trouble for my grandma and grandpa. She was the problem child, I guess. And she was always jealous my mom got special treatment. When Grandma passed away, she didn't leave any money to Colleen at all because she didn't trust her not to spend it on booze or gambling. All Colleen got was memorabilia, all of which she sold anyway. Colleen has no idea about it, but my mom has always kept some of that money aside from her, just in case she gets her act together."
"That's gotta burn from Colleen's side though."
"Yeah... I'll never forget the look on her face when she found out. It was like, pure devastation. Like she believed her mom didn't love her or something."
