The Cage Of A Sovereign: Book One Of The Kieran Series

Chapter Thirty-Five

Why couldn't life be easy? Why did so many people have to suffer throughout their lives. Why did I have to be one of those people? Nightmares of knives and blood, whips and fangs haunt me even as I am awake. No, the dreams were too vivid to be a figment of my imagination, these were some of the memories that the other me was talking about. I needed to find the trio and tell them what I found out though I imagine that they won't be very happy that it was a result of me jumping off a cliff.

With a sigh, I get out of bed knowing I cannot keep this to myself. I slowly put on the uniform, though I don't know why I even bother. It was nothing more than a hinderance to my attempt to seem serious, I imagine most guys would have trouble concentrating on what I was saying while dressed in a school girl outfit that happened to have an outrageously short skirt. But it would have to do, because even though I was confident that the trio wouldn't let me get punished again, I did not want to take the chance.

I was already being tortured in my dreams, no need to make it happen while I was awake as well. The trio weren't hard to find, they were where they usually are at this time in the morning, at the Aegis training gym.

Cade being ever so observant notices me first, quickly swiping Thearean hard across the face with a bo staff, he ends the practice fight and gives me most of his attention. "Amara? What are you doing here?" In other words, he was surprised to see me so soon after I walked away from him last night.

"We have to talk, is there any chance we could go somewhere more private?" I take a glance at all of the other Aegis training, though there was a wide berth of space around us, I wasn't sure that was because I, a Low Zillah was here, or if it was because they feared and respected my trio so much.

God, this was going to be difficult, I couldn't even distance myself from them in my own thoughts. "Of course, we can go for a walk, I'll be back guys-" I cut him off before he can finish his sentence.

"No, I was actually talking about the three of you, there is something I want to tell all of you." I lead them out of the training room and towards the back of the castle, to the small field where I had met Hunter for our date.

No one was around, I don't know how I knew, it wasn't something I would even normally think about, but the thought just came to me as I turned around to look at them, I could sense that no one was near us.

That was a new skill that I would have to remember to use, even if it was most unconsciously used. "There is something I haven't told you, any of you, yet. When I fell asleep in the library, I met another version of myself, one with full memories of the dark year. Not only that but she told me I broke the block on my magic when I jumped off the cliff, that she had tied the block on our magic and memories to my will to live and when I tried to kill myself the block broke." This was the first time they were hearing me admit that I hadn't been cliff jumping but trying to end my life, by the horror and shock on their faces I knew that even if they had subconsciously known, they had hoped that I had told them the truth about cliff jumping.

No one wants to hear that someone they care about, even as confusing as the three of them acted about me, tried to end their life. "I know what you all want to say, but it won't make a difference. For some reason as soon as I met the three of you, I became so confident, proud, I was living like nothing could touch me, and with the three of you constantly protecting me from punishment, nothing has. But it's so hot and cold with the three of you one minute your all caring and the next you are closed off and pushing me away, I know the three of you are keeping something big from me, and you know what that is alright.

Because the truth is we barely know each other, but I know that I am not the only one that feels the connection between us, the need to be around you all the time, its not normal, I know that for a fact, and I am pretty sure that all of you know what it means. When you are around, I feel invincible, I feel like a Queen, with the strength to end someone's life with a flick of a wrist, but when you distance yourselves from me or leave big gaps on the knowledge you give me because its some big secret, I turn weak.