Trixies pov:
I groaned seeing the bright morning light pour into my room as my mom opened the curtains. I hated waking up in the morning, especially since it's only five.
"I know sweetie but it's better to get it done then to wait all day" I felt my mom rub my back since I was face down in my pillow.
"Yeah and right now I really wish your shift was a bit later" I mumbled holding onto the sides of the bed.
"Well life isn't fair and I've tried multiple times, just bear with me alright honey?" I lifted my face up from the pillow and felt her kiss my cheek. God damn I wish she could just have a later shift it's all I want.
"I donttttt, feel good at alllll..." I groaned more putting my hand dramatically on my head. Don't you love it when basically almost all your blood pours out? Me too.
"Then sit still so I can put the iv in, you make this difficult every time Trixie..." my mom took my hand away from my head and I sighed looking away as she did it. I've become numb to it at this point, but just looking at it makes me gag, especially the blood ones.
"Mom I don't like doing this...it's draining me at this point" I mumbled as she made sure the iv would stay in.
"I'm sure it is sweetie...but I just want you to keep fighting...I can't loose you now...your my sunshine...my everything..." I looked over at her as she held my hand tight, it's hard not to say no to her.
"Yeah but...it's been years...what are the chances of me now getting better and being normal...I don't wanna do this anymore..." I saw my vision get slightly blurred by my tears but I held them back. My mom looked at me sadly and kissed my cheek again.
"Just hold up for another year baby...I know you can do it...one more year ok?" I sighed hugging her tightly and just relaxing under her touch.
"One more year..." I whispered and pulled away before my mom wiped away the stray tears that I let fall.
"You stay here and get comfy while I go check some things ok? Then we can head back and you can try and go back to sleep" I nodded watching her walk away as I pulled some of my blankets over me. All I wanted right now was to take a nap with Katya, she's the only one other then my mom who's able to help me go to sleep when I need it.
But as I was situating myself I heard something come from the room my mom went in. Course i couldn't help but listen, who knows maybe I get to hear more nurse drama and that's the best. I closely listened to what they were talking about trying to stay completely silent.
"Valerie are you really gonna try for another year...she's getting worse and worse as time goes on" I listened more wondering which nurse it was, hard to tell from far away.
"I have to...shes my special baby..you remember how she was as a little baby..I've come so far I can't stop now..." I heard a sigh come from my mom.
"Listen. I hate to tell you the reality Val but she's not gonna even last a few more months like this...if you want her to last a year that means you have to put her on life support and I know how you feel about that..." I froze in my spot hearing that. A few more months?! But I feel fine, surely she's just scaring her.
"It's hard ok. I know she's not gonna be ok in a few more months. But I have to try, and if it means waiting another year and putting her on life support then fuck I'll do it. This is my last chance, and if there's nothing I can do after a year...then...then I'll let her go.." I felt tears stream down my cheeks as she said that.
I'm not ready to leave, not now. There's so many things I want to do and I don't want to end my journey now. I wiped my face a bit and continued listening as I held back sobs.
"Alright...how about this...I'll make your shifts longer with her so you can spend more time with her...your going through a lot right now and I can tell...I just wanted you to remember that..." I heard a soft sniff and I knew that was my mom.
My mom hates the thought of loosing me, I'm all she has left after all. My dad was a deadbeat and he left us, so my mom tried dating and he kinda became my step father for a while. But he was abusive and rude, once my mom found out he was gone though. Then after that the rest of my life I've stayed here where my moms been taking care of me the best she can.
"Thank you...now I've gotta get back to Trixie...I've left her out there for a while and I'm sure she's really tired.." I quickly wiped the rest of my tears and laid back seeming like I was about to fall asleep as my mom came back out.
"Alright I'm all done honey, lets get you down for a nap and let that blood flow yeah?" I nodded as we headed back to my room. I'm now completely exhausted from all that and crying, and I just wanna be held close and sleep.
"Can you stay with me this time...I miss having nap time with you..." I looked up at her tiredly as she gave me a soft smile and nodded as we came into my room. She closed the curtains so it was dark again and made sure I was tucked in.
"Now you go to sleep...I'll make sure that if anyone comes to check on you that their quiet...I want you to sleep until your fully energized ok?" I nodded as I felt her softly rake her hand through my hair. It was so soothing and I missed her touch a lot.
"I love you mommy...night nightttt..." before I close my eyes I saw her give me a big smile as she continued to play with my hair.
"I love you too my sweet baby...one day you'll be sleeping in your own bed at home...and we'll be so together..." I heard her whisper before I knocked out cold.
It's all I ever dream about, finally leaving this place and going home for once where I can sleep in my own bed and be normal...and hopefully I can one day..
YOU ARE READING
Not enough time left for me
Fanfiction"You don't understand.." "I do, just tell me why can't you keep going" "Kat..I'm dying and there's no hope left for me. With every breath I take one may be the last for me. It's game over now..."
