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Chapter 19

JD. He said he was "far too damaged." Those were some of his last words, before he blew himself up. Veronica was almost completely sure she was hallucinating at this point. That, maybe, she wasn't okay.

"I thought you died."

"I did. I'm dead. Aren't you used to seeing unusual apparitions?" Veronica heard the way he said it. Like he was mocking her, but in his own playful way.

"I... I am. But I'm really only used to seeing Chandler. Sometimes Kurt and Ram show up..." She was still adjusting to the fact that her dead ex-boyfriend was standing right in front of her bed.

"Ah, Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney... Two dickheads. They still are two dickheads, Kurt stuck in Ram's ass all the time. Hell is literally the worst." He chuckled, but it almost sounded forced and unnatural. It made her seriously think whether this time she was actually hallucinating.

"Why are you here, JD?" Veronica finally asked, after a couple of seconds. She was able to wrap her mind around the idea of JD being there, but maybe not the actual situation, yet.

"Can I not just visit my ex? Is that so wrong?" He almost sounded genuine. Almost. There was always a hint of a lie in what he'd say. He stepped closer to her. "I'm here to help, Veronica. You need it." If she didn't know better, she'd think the kindness in his voice was real. But at this point, she really doesn't know if she knows better or not.

She felt compelled to hug him, and have him tell her everything's okay. She forced herself to resist that urge, however, and remind herself that he's still dead. "I don't need your help. I'm doing fine on my own." He laughed, again. Still as fake as the last.

"Come on, Veronica. We both know that's not true. You're upset, and you know why. You know I know why." Veronica still had some feelings left from earlier that day, and started getting frustrated with him. Who was he to say what she felt? It didn't matter if he was right, he didn't have to say it.

"You don't know shit, JD." She responded with a frown. His eyebrows pinched together, as if he was worried, or confused.

"You need to stop acting like this, Veronica." She noticed how often he said her name, "You know you need help, so stop denying it and let me help you." She shook her head and closed her eyes, hoping he would somehow disappear. He couldn't possibly be the real JD. Chandler couldn't possibly be the real Chandler. The Kurt and Ram she saw couldn't be real, either. Ghosts couldn't be real.

"Are you sure?" A different voice spoke up. Veronica opened her eyes, only to see Chandler standing not too far away from her. Veronica nodded her head, meaning she was sure they couldn't actually exist.

"This can't be possible. It just makes no sense, now."

"How can it make no sense? You were sure about it before—" Chandler, unlike JD, sounded genuine; she sounded real. Yet Veronica didn't want to believe any of it anymore.

"If it's real, then make him go away. I can't stand him anymore." Veronica said it with such an urgency, that even made herself worried. Chandler just looked at her, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"JD! Make him go away!"

"Veronica, he's not here..."

"Yes, he is, he's right there..." Veronica trailed off, realizing that JD hadn't been there for several minutes. She didn't know if he had been a real ghost, or just her imagination, but either way, she was glad he was gone. The few minutes he was there, made her feel worse.

"Veronica, I've never seen JD in hell... surprisingly."

Veronica almost started crying. It took her five whole minutes to realize he wasn't actually there. She had imagined the whole thing, talking to herself the entire time. Maybe she did need help. Chandler slowly made her way over to her, trying to comfort her.

"Hey, I promise you, I'm still real." Veronica burst out crying, and fell into Chandler's embrace. She knew she needed help at this point.

Angsty.