Bleeding Hearts || Elliot Walker

TWO; BROWN EYED BEAUTY

"OKAY QUESTION WHAT is the most annoying thing about being here?" Tori asked her brown eyes twinkled with knowing and I know we are thinking are similar things firstly because she is the only person who doesn't look at me like I'm some kind of freak which I get a lot here especially since I was admitted here three weeks. It doesn't hurt as much when the nurses look at me like I'm a freak because I suppose I fit this image but it freaking hurts when the two people I thought were supposed to love me unconditionally actually give me sideways glances like the nurses do thinking I don't notice but I do and I can only assume that Tori has gone through the same thing with her loved ones

She had told me her name after she had suggested that we sit together along with a threat that if I ever use her baptismal name of Victoria, then she'd make sure I would never use my vocal cords again for anything including saying the name she was born with. My only option was to meekly nod as she had narrowed her brown eyes at me in such a way that it scared me but other than that incident she's actually a pretty chill and cool person to be around and she seems like the only person in this place that is sane and doesn't look at me like I'm a freak

"Oh that's easy" I tell her a small grin appearing at the corner of my mouth "The rule that we're not allowed to have anything sharp like even the pencils knifes and even some crayons have to be blunted down before they let us use them like we don't have two brain cells and are actually going to self harm when the nurse are there" There is a pregnant pause "You do realise that I can cut myself with a nail clippers that I hid in my jeans"

Tori laughs but it is uneasy "Me too" she agrees but it is not convincing leaving me to look at her hands and arms to see scars long and short, deep and shallow twisted on her arms and hand, some are healed, a shiny white colour that contrasts against her golden tan skin others are not as they are raised and bumpy and not very well looked after however if you weren't looking close enough you can't see the lines that dotted up and down her skin as a permeant reminder as her bubbly but almost rude and outspoken personality draw your attention off her body

"Oh -- I-I'm sorry I didn't ... didn't know" I stutter like a child whose been caught bending the rules "Guess I've fucked up, giving the one person who's actually pretty enough and well asjusted to get out of here even more ideas"

She laughs the sound light and surprisingly girlish given her outward appearance I would have expected her laugh to been more deep and rich which is why many eyes shift in the direction of our table confused looks alighting in their eyes but Tori either doesn't notice or doesn't care but it makes me kind of uncomfortable so I give them all a scornful glare and the instantly return to picking at the meat "Chill dude, it's cool, don't go all freaky on me over here, I knew what you meant. You just don't like the idea of cutting do you? But you probably have you're own way to relieve the pain that you're feeling, it's just mine is slightly different theres nothing wrong with it -- it's like a drug -- when you make a cut deep enough to draw blood, you do it once and you just can't stop and you keep going and going until you have scars that decorate your entire body, and although I tried to hide the scars my brother found me one day after school passed out on the bathroom floor for cutting too deeply and hitting a vein. My brother panicked and phoned the hospital and now I'm here"

She spoke with so much confidence and fluidity that if I wasn't having the conversation right now I would never have believed we were talking about something so morbid and dark and I know I would've never spoken with the confidence that she did if I ever shared my story with anybody on how I ended up here that I would have never have spoken with. Our stories of how we ended up here our quite similar but instead of a brother that found me passed out on a bathroom floor, it was my mom and thirteen year old sister, Jessica.

I knew the question was coming up but I still didn't want it Tori leant over the plastic table her elbows resting on the table and her palms face down and on top of each other "So how did you wind up in the mad house" She asks in a teasing tone as she laughs slightly but the was a note of curiosity behind her voice

"That's a story for another day darlin'" I tell her trying to keep my voice steady as I added in a coy wink that seemed to work as she flipped her hair over her shoulder with her perfectly manicured acrylic nails that were a pastel colour and had a thin black line painted across some of them in a pattern before she dissolved into giggles before speaking again

"Well, Elliot Walker I look forward to the day"

The truth was I didn't know when that day would come because I didn't want it to come, because I didn't want anyone to know the horrible story of how I ended up here but instead I smile up at her and slyly say "You'll have to hang around me more then"

She nods laughing for what feels like the hundredth time since sitting down, drawing all eyes to us again but like before it's as if the girl didn't notice how enticing her laugh was, or how she can make butterflies explode in your stomach from one look or touch of the hand

It's like she didn't notice how beautiful she was