desperate// yugbam

10

"Wow 15 minutes away.. that's far." Yugyeom said following the tracks of his phone.

I allowed myself to play some music and I just turned up the volume a bit. It started to sprinkle again. And I looked out the window.
Why am I not uncomfortable being in here with yugyeom. It's only been 2 days since we met and I'm already in his car.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I sighed yugyeom hummed in response.

"High school.. last year I Failed half my classes and I didnt go to summer school to get my graduation credits. I dont know what the hell I'm going to do." I said feeling a small tightness in my chest.

This music is too sad for this type of situation.

I can't and I dont want to think about the future. It's going to be scary.

"What's your goal. What do you want to study for?" Yugyeom said taking the wrong exit out the freeway and cursed under his breath. But of course your best friend siri found another way.

"I don't know what my goal is. I like art and fashion but is that something I want to do? Everytime i think about my future it takes me nowhere and inplus I overthink shit. It's never positive too." I said leaning my head on the window.

"Sometimes you just need to stop overthinking and just go where your heart takes you. Maybe it's your head that is keeping you from doing this or that. Go where your heart wants to go not your head."

Oh wow. This quickly turned into some sort of therapy session.

"Thanks yugyeom. But then again I dont what my heart wants."

"Maybe it wants me." Yugyeom said and I quickly turned my head at him and slowly saw him smile.

"What?! No!" I laughed. "No. But seriously I dont know what a piece of organ wants." I said as I turned down the volume cause his music is way to sad. Not that i dont enjoy it it's just way to sad.

"That was my favorite song." He said.

"Well it was too sad." I replied. I looked at his phone and I still have about 8 minutes till I get home.

"So jinyoung is your neighbor still." Yugyeom said. I thought he didnt "want to talk about it."

"Yea, hes always been.. I just never seen you with him if you 2 were always in the same house." I questioned my whole life all of a sudden.

"I wasn't able to be outside as a little kid supposeably I was to wild." He said.

"Does that mean I've known you- well not known you but like.. I've known you as in ever since you were a kid?" I was amazed.

"Well you never knew me till now but yea sort of.. I was too much of a wild child so I couldn't be out so much. But I had jinyoung to entertain me so I was good." Yugyeom said. I looked at his phone.
3 minutes.

"Wait- why would you need my address if we lived in the same street?" I said turning my whole body around towards him.

"Well I moved out at the age of 13 and ever since that I never went back to that house. So it's a blurry memory." He said and exactly we are here.

"Are your parents still fighting?"

"Huh?" I said as I turned my head and saw my parents arguing from outside.

I sighed and laid back on his seat.

"This is home for me." I Scarcasticly smiled.

"Sometimes I really just want to go home." I said as yugyeom and I watched my parents.

"You are home-"

"No. Like actual home. This isnt home. I'm not greeted with hellos and goodbyes as I go to school. I dont get the lovely house welcoming. This isnt home yugyeom. This house just makes me want to build a grave."

Why am I so emotional? If I'm going to be so fucken emotional I cant be doing it around people. Doesn't work like that.

"What grave? Dont think like that. If it makes you feel better I basically got kicked out at 13 out of my own house. But I get where this feeling is coming from." Yugyeom said.

We sat in a quiet moment as watching my parents still arguing loud and clear. I needed a hug. Jinyoung would always comfort me when I saw my parents arguing and especially those times when my father gets too abusive.
It's not like yugyeom is willing to be jinyoung for a few moments and comfort me.

A small tear fell off my cheek and I quickly whipped it off.
Not in front of anyone.

"Go to jinyoungs house for the night. Or unless you want to stay with this mess."

"No no of course. And I can walk there its 2 houses down."

"That's to far."

"What? No it isnt." I sadly laughed.

"Yes it is. Anything can happen while walking 2 houses down." He continued.

"Bruh stop. Really its 2 houses." I rolled my eyes.

"I mean wouldnt your parents just drag you in if they saw you here?" Yugyeom said as he started the car again.

"Yeah you're right I bet my dad will drag me in."

Jinyoungs room light was still on and I looked at yugyeoms face. It could be true. He hasn't been in here in forever. Sort of felt bad.

"Arent you gonna go?" He said pointing at the door.

"You're kicking me out?" I teased. "Well yea if you say it that way."

I faked a character of being offended.

"Well anyways thanks for the ride like really thanks if i didnt have you I wouldve waited 4 more hours until mark could take me home." I said as I looked right into yugyeoms eyes.

He just hummed. "Let me see your hand."

"Why?"

He grabbed my hand and slightly kissed the top of it. I was turning so red. He turned it around and opend it and I found a quarter.

"Oh- oh wow that was cool." I said he let go.

"Take it the quarter was bothering me ever since you got in my car."

"That doesn't even make sense." I teased. As I opened the door.

"Well.. I'll see you tomr yugyeom drive safe home." I slightly smiled. He smiled back and I closed his door and I walked in front of jinyoungs house.

"Ahh hes watching me get inside too? How much more protection do I need." I sad to myself.

"Oh- hi jinyoung." I smiled