Through Hell And Back | Taegi

Chapter 21

Yoongi POV

"If you still care then why did you leave? Why'd you say all those things, knowing how much they'd hurt me?" I mumble quietly before reluctantly sticking the candy into my mouth. My heart aches just at the simple fact that he's sat here now and taking care of me the way he always used to. It messes with my head more than he's already been, knowing he's the one that's caused me all of this pain and yet is the one still sitting here and trying to put my broken pieces back together once again.

I ignore the tear that slips down my cheek, just needing closure and answers. As tired as I am and how much I'd much rather just drag him over to my bed and curl up with him to fall asleep, I know I'll regret it in the morning. Even if I'll still remember all of this in the morning, I've got enough alcohol in my system to actually have the balls to ask the questions that I need the answers to. I won't in the morning and I'll regret it if I don't get those answers now.

Tae sighs softly from in front of me, a pained look on his face as he lets his gaze fall to the floor for a moment. I just stay silent and watch as he closes his eyes for a moment, running a hand through his hair before lifting his gaze back up to me with the tiniest of smiles.

"I thought it'd be better if I wasn't around you, Yoongi. Nothing ever changed between us, you never changed anything or did anything. I'm the idiot that changed and... I thought it would be easier if I wasn't around you. I said that bullshit to try and make it easier, so that you wouldn't want to be around me and then I couldn't be around you. I was so fucking wrong though, Yoongi. And, I'm so fucking sorry for all of the things that I said to hurt you, and I'm sorry for all of the pain that you've had to endure because of me." Tae explains in a soft tone, still managing to be careful with me despite his own apparent pain. I frown at his explanation though, still not understanding as another tear rolls down my warm cheek.

"Why did you think it'd be better? Why didn't you want to be around me?" I ask quietly, speaking around the candy like a kid with my lips in a full pout the entire time I'm speaking. My voice cracks in the process, and I try hard not to wince at how pathetic it sounds, how pathetic I sound right now. Yet another tear slips down my cheek, and I can already feel my lips begin to tremble in fear of what the answer is going to be. I'm terrified to know the truth, to know why the hell the guy I stupidly fell for had tried to leave me. A cold shiver runs up my spine out of fear, shaking my entire body in the process. Taehyung frowns at the sight, moving a little closer to me before taking the ends of the blanket in his hands and pulling it tighter around my body.

Pulling away once more, I watch as the younger purses his lips, ruffling his brunette hair lightly. I try to hold back anymore tears, deciding I'd be a little less pathetic if I at least had a reason to be crying right now. Though, my heart nearly freezes when Tae finally lifts his gaze back up to meet mine, not a hint of a smile anywhere to be found on his features.

"I thought it would help me quit falling for you. That it would make the pain I've been feeling for you easier to bear. I couldn't have been more wrong though. It only made it worse." Tae whispers softly.

My heart nearly bungee jumps at his words, not really believing the mild confession from the same person that wanted to leave me. Maybe it's the alcohol in my system or the pain of having believed for so long that he'd never feel the same, or maybe none of it, but whatever the reasoning, I find myself slowly shaking my head in confusion as the information refuses to process.

"What are you talking about, Tae?" I question, my own voice now just a mere whisper as well. Tae bites his lip as he doesn't break contact, the nervousness so painfully evident in his beautiful light brown eyes.

"Can I... Could I just show you instead, Yoongi?" He asks, his voice sounding so dreadfully sad and pained. It shatters the pieces of my broken heart to hear him like this, and I couldn't tell you or identify what exactly it is that makes me do this, but I soon find myself slowly nodding my head in return.