Shower [Taegi]

Let Me Know

TW// CUTTING, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND BLOOD

I sat down on the couch, with Jimin still clinging onto my arm with all his might. "Start." Jin demanded. I sighed before slowly explaining my..."situation."

"Well...If you couldn't tell, I have...depression.-" A small sob escaped Jimin's mouth before he buried his face into my shoulder. "Hyu-"

"It started when I was 18. When I was in high school. Those years when I was sure I wanted to become a rapper. I was going to be the best, I thought. I thought people would love me, I'd get attention and maybe someone to care for me. But...that wasn't the case."

"When telling my parents my dream, they laughed. 'Rapper? Haha- Yoongi, please. You won't get anywhere with that.' 'As if anyone will take interest in you!' 'Jesus, why can't you be like your brother Yoongi?' 'You're such a disgrace, Yoongi.' 'You're not even my son. I don't know you anymore, Yoongi...' I felt my shoulders shaking, remembering how my parents hurt me mentally and physically.

"After I...came out to them, it made things even worse. They took all of my music equipment and told me that if I didn't get a wife as they wish, they'll kick me out the house. I refused to get a wife. So, days went on and they starting...hitting me. They'd tell me that I was 'ugly, too pale, too skinny, too perky and smiley...too fucking gay to be their son. To be something other than a nuisance, a burden.'
Jimin cried into my shoulder. Him, being my friend in high school, knew of the things I went through and how I changed...How they changed me. Into this.

I could see everyone's mood was saddened by my confession. "I left them. On my own. I found a job, and rented my own apartment. That's when I started selling the music I wrote. But it still wasn't enough. I sometimes couldn't buy myself something to eat. When I couldn't I blame myself for eating too much, and throw it all up...I guess that's why I'm so skinny. Hah. should I start working out with you, Jungkook?"

He looks at me with tears threatening to fall. He stands up and hugs me tightly. "Hyung! What's wrong with you? Huh? What the h- What the fuck! Y-You're always our motivation! Don't you know? We look up to you! Even Jin hyung! And y-you're-" He couldn't finish his sentence as he sobbed quietly into my chest. I brought my hand up and rubbed his back gently. "Don't cry, Kook."

Taehyung POV

My heart ached as I watched Jungkook sob into Yoongi's chest. Not only because he was crying but because Yoongi went through all of that, and hid it so well. He never showed his sadness. He never showed his struggles, he was independent. So...strong. Now that I think about it, when I saw him in the shower he had...

"Y-Yoongi hyung..." He looks up at me with little emotion. "Can you...C-Can you show me your arms...a-and legs..." He looks down before gently sitting Jungkook aside him. He motioned for everyone to move closer to him. We all stood up and sat down on the floor in front of him. He sighed before slowly lifting his loss sweatpants, revealing various cuts. Some running down his inner thigh and others going down his calf. Everyone's eyes widen, including mine. But he continued. He lifted his arms, and stared at them hesitantly. "Hyung, you don't-"

"I want to."

He pulls his sleeves down and show his many cuts. Some old, some new. The most obvious is a long strike starting from his elbow and curving down to the start of his wrist. I looked down and notice the almost exact same cut on his leg. "Did you try to..."

"I did. I tried to commit suicide."

Jin gasped and covered his mouth with this hand, letting out loud sobs. Namjoon hugged him and cried with him. Jimin latched onto Jungkook, who was crying mercilessly. I looked at Yoongi with the same, emotionless face. "When?"

"Two years before debut."

So close...What would've happened if he actually...

"Who saved you?" He shook his head. "No one." He smiled sadly. "I woke up in the same tub, with the same cuts still bleeding. No one came to save me. I kinda knew no one would." He pulled his sleeves and sweats back down. "I don't want to die...I'm too scared." He smiled a little more softly. "Because I have you guys now. And other friends. A little family. And ARMYs. I feel loved and cared for. I don't want to put the people that care for me in pain." He looked down at the floor and sighed before standing up. "W-Where are y-"

"Just the studio. Don't follow me, I'd like to be alone."

"Hyung!"

"L-Let him go, Taehyung." I shake my head and grab his arm. "I'm coming with you!" He tilt his head but started walking with me clinging onto him. I smile. "I'll take good care of hyung. Don't worry." I wave and start following Yoongi out the door.

-

Soooo...yeah. I'm going to restart this series and change it into something else because this idea isn't going as great as I thought. Sorry if you were looking forward to this series but thanks for supporting. I saw I had over 100 reads! Woooowsers, I feel important.... heh, thanks guys. The new series will be on my profile. So, be prepared for something new. Once again, sorry guys. Really I am...