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#81

I guess I was never the type to tell people how I really felt and maybe that was because I didn't know it myself. I never understood myself, how I feel. It's confusing how I can go from totally happy to depressed in a matter of seconds. And I never even tried to tell someone about it because I knew that nobody would listen, nobody would care and I still know that so I've started isolating myself to a point that I hardly leave the house. It's the easiest way to not get hurt and much more important, to not hurt anybody, because that's all I seem to do; hurt people. I push them away when I need them. I don't know why, I just do it. And I claim that I'm fine but I'm not at all. And maybe I'm just waiting for someone to finally be brave enough to knock down those walls that I built around me.