Yesterday's Dream [Completed]

DREAM#24

"In love, there's so many ups and downs that you will encounter. Making you feel so many emotions over and over again. Those happiness, excitement, pain, heartaches. Thinking of taking a step, to move forward to reach his hand. To let go, to walk away or to run away. But there's one thing is for sure. You may stumble and fall many times and feel of giving up but Cupid still has an another plan. You may get tired and afraid to love again but He'll never get tired of looking for your perfect match for you to feel the true happiness again." - Author

"Did you knew?" parehong natigilan sina Charm at Jinny sa tinanong. Sabay pa silang napatingin sa isa't-isa na parang nagtuturuan pa kung sino sa kanila ang sasagot sa tanong ko. In the end, it was Charm who answered.

"Yes. We knew. Everyone knew, except you." humigpit ang hawak ko sa panyo at pinilipit yun. Hindi ko mapigilang matawa ng pagak. Kaya pala sobrang pamilyar niya. Kaya pala ganun na lamang ang reaksyon ng puso ko kapag malapit siya. 

"Wala naman kaming balak na itago sa iyo ito eh. But things became complicated and your brothers don't want you to remember any of those." paliwanag sakin ni Charm na ikinakunot ng noo ko. 

"What do you mean, Charm? Anong kinalaman ng mga kuya ko dito?" muli ay nakita ko ang pagpalitan na naman nila ng tingin ni Jinny. Na para bang nagdadalawang-isip kung sasabihin ba nila sakin o hindi. 

"Bumalik na ba ang lahat ng mga alaala mo?" tanong sakin ni Jinny. Dahan-dahan naman akong umiling.

"Not everything. But slowly, I'm regaining them." sagot ko. Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga niya. 

"Do you want us to be there?" kaagad akong umiling at ngumiti sa kanila. 

"No need. I can handle this. Lalo na't unti-unti nang bumabalik ang mga alaala kong nawala." 

Ang mga parte ng mga alaala ko kung saan nakasama ko siya. 

Kaya pala hindi ko maalala noon kung saan ako nagcollege kasi lahat ng mga alaala kong kasama siya ay nakalimutan ko. I forgot everything starting from the day I met him. 

"Back to the topic that we are talking earlier. Anong kinalaman ng mga kuya ko sa nangyari sakin?" muli kong tanong sa kanila.

"Seven years ago, you were under their care at Belanes. Doon ka nagcollege until the accident happened." pagsisimula ni Jinny.

"Everything's fine, I guess. You met new people, new friends and him - Sherson Lacsamana together with Yuhan Kim and Eiko Yuki. But then, you once again became a fool." 

"I fell." mahinang pagtatama ko sa sinabi ni Jinny. 

"Yes. And this time, its truly deep. Too deep that even if you tried to get out is too impossible. You love him secretly and you're hurting silently. You tried to forget that love and tried to replace it by friendship but you failed. Again." napakagat ako ng ibabang labi ko dahil sa sinabi ni Jinny. Everything that she said is true. Mahirap at sobrang delikado ako kapag nagmahal. Dahil parati na lang akong nahuhulog sa mga taong hindi kayang suklian ang pagmamahal ko sa kanila. 

"Then, that time came. Everything became a mess. You had a misunderstanding with Sherson because of a certain b*tch  you are telling us but I forgot her name. Sherson was blinded with that girl. Too blinded that he got really mad at you that broke your heart." 

"Anong karapatan mo ha?! Anong karapatan mong pangunahan ako?!"

"You don't have the right to decide whom I'll love! And you don't have the right to mess with my life!"

"No. It's not my intention to mess with his life. I just want him to be happy and i don't want him to get hurt in the end." wala sa sariling sagot ko sa kanila at matiim silang tinignan kahit na nakikita ko lang sila sa screen ng laptop ko.

"We don't really know what happened about the accident but what we only knew was you were together that time. Kaagad kang nilipat sa hospital sa atin and Ce--Kuya Cebi said that you should have not remembered that incident. No one should talk about it. Even Tita and Tito kept their silent. I bet your brothers told him but they just keep their mouth shut." it was Charm who said that.

"Please don't tell your bothers that we spill out everything to you, Mari. Ayaw naming makatay." kinakabahang pakiusap sa akin ni Jinny. 

"Thanks, Charm. Thanks, Jinny. Thanks for telling me." nakangiti kong saad sa kanila pero hindi din naman yun umabot sa mga mata ko. I still have so many questions that are unanswered. So many pieces that are still unpuzzled. At alam ko kung sino ang makakasagot ng mga yun. 

"Mari..." tawag sakin ni Charm. 

"All I want is for you to be happy and I'm sorry but if I am not sorry because I did this. It's just that, I just want to break even." parehong kumunot ang noo naming dalawa ni Jinny dahil sa sinabi niya.

"What do you mean, Charm?" it was Jinny who asked the question but I never got the chance to hear her answer dahil bigla na lamang namatay ang laptop ko. Nalowbat na pala ito. Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako at lumabas ng cottage. After kasi ng nangyari kanina ay bumalik ako dito sa cottage at hindi na lumabas pa. Hindi ko alam kung saan na sila nagpunta. 

"You will never steal him from me, Mari." napatigil ako sa paglalakad at napalingon sa likuran ko ng marinig ang boses ni Lessy. Matalim ang mga tingin na ibinibigay niya sakin pero hindi ako naapektuhan. Hindi niya ako masisindak sa mga titig niyang ganyan.

"Akin lang siya." matigas na bigkas niya. Malamig ko siyang tinapunan ng tingin.

"Wala akong ginagawa, Lessy." malamig na saad ko.

"Nagmamaang-maangan ka pa! Anong walang ginagawa? You came back! That's what you did! You disappeared five years ago sana ay tinuloy-tuloy mo na lang. Because of you, Sherson's attention was on you and not on me!"galit na sigaw niya sakin at malalaki ang hakbang na lumapit sakin. 

"Nawala nga ang mga alaala mo pero wala ka pa ring pinagbago. Isa ka pa ring malandi. Pumapasimple ka para makuha ang atensyon ni Sherson. You're such a b*tch!"

"Are you talking to yourself, Lessy?" pagbabalik ko sa sinabi niya sakin dahilan na mas lalo siyang magalit. Umangat ang dulo ng labi ko.

"Nawala nga ang alaala ko pero kilala ko pa rin naman ang sarili ko. I'm not like you, Lessy. And I'm pretty sure that I'm not a b*tch because as far as I remember, my work lead me to him and he keeps on holding me on. Hindi katulad mo na halos ipilit na ang sarili sa isang taong ayaw naman sayo." isang malakas na sampal ang dumapo sa pisngi ko. Hindi ko yun inaasahan kaya hindi ko kaagad naiwasan. Masakit yun at pakiramdam ko ay namanhid ang pisngi ko dahil sa lakas ng pagkakasampal niya sakin pero hindi ko pinahalatang nasaktan ako. 

"Masakit? Pwes kulang pa yan sa ginawa mo kay Sherson noon." puno ng galit niyang saad na ikinatigil ko.

"It was your fault, Mari. It was all your fault! Bakit kailangang si Sherson pa ang magbayad ng kasalanang hindi niya ginawa. He should've not take the blame because in the first place, you are the one who drove the car!" pakiramdam ko ay namanhid na rin pati ang buong katawan ko dahil sa mga salitang sinusumbat sa akin ni Lessy. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang una kong iisipin. Kung ano ang paniniwalaan ko. Lalo na nang mag-umpisa na namang sumakit ang ulo ko na sinundan ng mga imaheng lumitaw sa isipan ko. 

Someone gave me a key and I accept it. I was on the driver seat. I was the one who's driving. I glance at the passenger seat and Sherson was there. Then, there was a strong and huge crash and everything was a mess. My mind is a mess.

At nadagdagan pa yun nang muling sumigaw si Lessy.

"Ikaw ang dapat na nakulong at hindi siya!"