GOD BLESS THE INTERNET | Jeff Wittek

3 | Three.

Jeff
Why don't you ever text me first?

Alexandra
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh why are you up so early?

It's six fucking am in LA okay which means it's 9 here Jeff

I'm dealing with the worst hangover headache of my life

Jeff
You were drunk yesterday?

We texted practically the entire day when did you have the time to get wasted

Alexandra
I started drinking when I told you I was going to bed

I went through a six pack of Smirnoff ice and a bottle of wine

I felt like I was back in college drinking away all my self-pity

Jeff
You were just telling me how I need to lay off the drinking, then you go and drink at 1 am

What's up with you?

Alexandra
Well I overshared hella when I was talking to you which kept on replaying in my head

I already have trouble sleeping, shoutout to genetics fuck my loser ass birth parents

I haven't spoken to anyone outside of work all month and my parents are too busy to acknowledge me

So I was like huh let's play into those self destructive tendencies you've had in control and get shit faced

Shoutout to the Bodegas open late

Oh fuck I just overshared again whatever imma go get a taxi to jump off the Empire State building

YEET

Jeff
Woah Woah Woah Alexandra, relax

I liked learning about your life okay it's super interesting

you're like this puzzle I can't figure out

If you ever want to talk or vent I'm here for you okay

I promise there's nothing you said last night you should feel bad about, alright?

Alexandra
Alright but I still feel bad

So let me know if there's any way I can make up for my "nonexistent" mistakes

Jeff
Hmmmmmmmm there is one thing you could do

How about you share your Instagram account with me

Alexandra
Yea no

I will drop a phat hint sometime this weekend

But next time you and Cierra come to NY lunch or dinner is on me okay?

Jeff
I'm down

But about this hint, when is it going to happen and how will I know lol

Alexandra
I promise I'll tell you what it is and it'll be obvious

Sent at 9:32 am

Read at 9:33 am

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15,193 likes
jeff Happy #nationaldogday ❤️🐶

August 26 2018

View all 84 comments

Unknown1 First!

ashlenalexandra Nerf looks so good here!

aurora.smit @ashlenalexandra something else in this pic looks good too huh

ashlenalexandra @aurora.smit You're talking mad brazy now that you're in Miami huh when you come back to NY it's on sight sis

aurora.smit @ashlenalexandra I know I shouldn't be scared but your crackhead Gemini tendencies actually have me worried

unknown2 You better post a pic with Nerf tho

unknown3 idk whos cuter Jeff or that baby goat

aurora.smit @unknown3 according to my friend it's definitely Jeff

ashlenalexandra @aurora.smit Let me tell you something, had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you

unknown4 wtf is this comment section people are making death threats

unknown3 @aurora.smit well your friend ain't wrong

unkown5 @ashlenalexandra you know that's not Nerf in that pic right?

ashlenalexandra @unkown5 Yikes that joke went right over your head lmao

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Alexandra
The pic you just posted is really cute

I may or may not have just left a comment on said post

Jeff
Damn only a one day wait

Alexandra
Lmao I was not about to waste both of our Saturdays by taunting you

Jeff
So what did you do instead?

Alexandra
Went to the Bronx zoo

Did a paid shoot earlier in the morning

Hbu?

Jeff
Spent the day with Cierra

It was much needed we've both been super busy

Alexandra
Awwww that's cute

She's such a sweetheart too tell her I said hey lol she might remember me

Jeff
Wait

Wait

WAiT

IS YOUR HANDLE ASHLENALEXANDRA

WHERE THE FUCK DID THE ASHLEN COME FROM

Sent at 3:14 pm

DUDE CIERRA REMEMBERS YOU WTF

Sent at 6:17 pm

Hello

Alexandra?

Sent at 9:18 pm

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?????????
Sent at 9:30 pm
Read at 2:16 am