RENEGADES

Chapter Thirteen

You may as well know I spent that whole night out on the streets searching everywhere. Every place I knew in Manhattan. But it was weird, New York was silent that night. There were no gangs stalking the alleyways or drinking. The death of Thomas had affected more people than he ever knew. The traffic was easygoing and quiet. A few pedestrians walked up and down without acknowledging I was there.

I felt like a ghost walking around. Like I was stealing a part of someone else's life. I didn't deserve to be out there. I didn't deserve to be strolling about with my sneakers and Thomas's old jacket. The jacket used to be comforting to me and made me feel important. But now, it was almost like I was wearing something too big for me, something that wasn't meant for me.

I took a cigarette out of my pocket and struck a match on the side of a building. I blew a few puffs and instinct was telling me that someone was watching. I turned around and looked into a dark alleyway. A familiar shadow came walking out. Rickie.

"Stay away from me," I growled.

"No, please Andrew," Rickie's voice was high pitched and scared. I glared at him, but I listened. "You have to understand something."

I kept looking around just to make sure the Roaches weren't about to ambush me from behind.

"That gun was never supposed to go off, it was just a threat, to get back at you guys. I told Nate not to fire it. We-we didn't know Thomas would be there, or he was involved. I didn't know about Theo either."

Why was he telling me this? Thomas was dead, it didn't matter that he wasn't supposed to be. I just wanted him to leave me alone.

"You see, Thomas and I were best friends when we were little. We grew up together in the orphanage, but then I got adopted by a rich family and he was left behind."

"Some friend you were," I mumbled.

"It wasn't my fault!" Rickie's strong-headed anger was spilling out. He took a breath and calmed down. "What was my fault was when I finally saw him again when we were teenagers and I was a jerk to him."

"It's too late, Richard," I told him. "You can't apologize to Thomas because he's dead."

He looked at me and bit his lip. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. And, I wanna make a truce. Nate's in jail, I made sure of that. I want our gangs to be friends."

"Friends?" I choked. "You think we can be friends? After everything that happened?" I was screaming now.

"Fine! Not friends! Let's just be at peace with each other, it isn't worth someone else getting killed," Rickie said.

Now he was talking smart. I was tired of fighting, of wanting revenge.

"We aren't a gang anymore. Thomas was our leader."

"Okay, but if you promise you, Siggy and Theo won't beat up on us anymore, I'll make sure the Roaches won't touch you guys."

I pretended to be deep in thought even though I had already made up my mind. I didn't want revenge this time, I just wanted it all to stop.

"Alright, Rickie," I nodded.

We spat in our palms and shook hands as a sign of agreement. And then we went our separate ways.

---

The next morning, I felt hopeless. After talking to Rickie I had reported my father missing to the police. They seemed concerned, but they assured me that he was probably fine. None of that made me feel any better. One of the officers handed me some cash and told me to use it for food and not cigarettes. I nodded and obeyed him.

Now I was sitting in Dilly's eating some hotcakes with syrup. They tasted good, but never as good as my mother used to make them.

I missed Siggy, Theo, and Thomas. Siggy and Theo were still in the hospital. I visited them a few days ago, and they didn't look so good. My friends would survive, but we would never be a gang again.

I felt like everyone I cared about had been ripped away from me in a matter of days. I was sick of this lonely feeling, sick of Manhattan, sick of New York. There was nothing left for me here.

Everyone I loved- except Elle. She was still alive, just far away.

I couldn't let anything happen to her.

Of course, she was safe. She was in a fancy boarding school for girls. I couldn't think of a safer place, except heaven maybe.

I didn't belong here in New York. Not anymore. And if my father could disappear without a trace so could I. Except I would leave a trace. I would leave a letter.

I took a napkin and a pen from my pocket and began to write.

Dear Siggy & Theo,

I'm going to leave New York.  My father is gone and I need to start a new life.  It's time for me to grow up. Even if we're not a gang no more, you guys are still the best friends I've ever had.  Thanks for all the adventures we've had and the memories.  I'll see you again.  I promise.  Someday when we're older and we have tuff jobs and families.  Until then, I'll miss you guys.Your friend,Andrew Grove

I folded the napkin and tucked it under my plate.  Jim would see it and give it to them when they were better.  

That afternoon after packing a few things in a bag and walked to the train station.  I hopped aboard the caboose of a freight train as I felt a few tears in my eyes.  I didn't know where I was going.  But it didn't matter.

THE END

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