RENEGADES

Chapter Twelve

I began sobbing. I had never cried like that before. My friend was dead. But not just dead. He had sacrificed himself for me. Why? Why would he do that? I had acted like a jerk to him, I had shut him out the past few days.

So what if he wants to work at Dilly's? Good for him. I should support him and still be his buddy. But it was too late now. Thomas's lifeless body laid over my lap with blood dripping from the hole in his neck.

"THOMAS!" Rickie ran over to me. Then I saw something I'd never thought I'd see. Richard Wilson shoved Nate to the ground and began to cradle Thomas's head in his hands. "No, no, no," he gasped. I didn't know what to think, I was too worn out.

The gunshot had woken up Theo. He staggered over towards us to see what was going on.

"Thomas?" he cried, clutching his bloody shoulder. Theo peered over Rickie and his face turned white. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Theo yelled at Rickie.

Rickie actually looked scared. He got up, wiped the tears off his face and dashed out of the alley. The other Roaches followed him.

"Andrew?" Siggy croaked. "What happened?''

I looked down at Thomas, then up at my friends. "He-he jumped in front of the gun. Nate was going to shoot me, and th-then... I don't know, he just came out of nowhere."

Jim came out of the side door of Dilly's. He'd probably heard the gun.

"What are you doing out here?" he thundered. Jim caught sight of Thomas. "Come on, I'm taking you kids to the hospital."

---

Dear Andy,

I miss you so much. The school is awful. Each day is filled with subjects, and then we have to do extra stuff like sewing and dancing. I hate it. All the girls are these hoity-toity spoiled brats. The teachers are cross and they make you write in cursive over and over again. We are barely allowed to go outside. But the food is pretty good.

Did I mention how much I miss you? I think about you all the time. I feel like my life is on hold. Like I'm just sitting here, waiting for something. You. I'm just waiting until I can get out of this stupid school and see you again.

I love you,

Elle

I folded Elle's letter and slipped it in my pocket. I cried a little bit. I wanted to tell her everything that had happened. But I didn't want to write to her, I wanted to tell her in person. I wanted to see her face and kiss her and hold her close.

I glanced out my small window, hoping for something, I don't know what.

It had been about a week since Thomas died. We were all beaten up pretty bad. Theo had it the worst. He was still in the hospital. I was worried that the nurses would try to contact his parents and then he would be a lot of trouble.

Siggy was probably in his apartment. His leg was broken.

I had no real reason to be in bed. My eye was swollen, and I had cuts and bruises all over. But I could still go out and do things.

But I wouldn't. Thomas was dead, and it was my fault. I should have been the one who died. That bullet was meant for me.

A tap on my window interrupted my thoughts. I turned and saw a nice girl with brown hair on my balcony. I squinted. I remembered her face, but not her name.

I opened the window.

"Hello, not sure if you remember me, I'm Elaine."

Of course! Elaine from the dance.

"Come in," I said. My father was at work. I immediately wished our apartment was cleaner. "Sorry about the mess."

"That's alright."

I let her sit on the bed while I pulled up a chair.  "So, why did you come to see me?"

"I'm sorry about Thomas," Elaine started.  "But you know he wasn't just your friend, he-he was my boyfriend."  Tears began seeping down her cheeks.  I felt bad.  I sort of forgot about Elaine.  They must have been seeing each other after the dance.

"I'm sorry," I said.  "I d-didn't know."

"I told him someday I wanted to travel to Europe, but I didn't think that he would care so much."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The next day he came and told me that he was going to work hard so someday we could travel to Europe together," she choked out.

I had never thought Thomas would ever fall head-over-heels for a girl.  Sure he had his fair share, but Thomas usually got bored with them after a few days.  He told me they were all the same.  But Elaine must have been different.  So different that she had him working at Dilly's.  

I ran my hands through my hair, processing what Elaine had said.  

"It's all my fault," Elaine gasped.

"No, Elaine.  It's not your fault.  Thomas made his own choice," I put my hand on her shoulder.  Elaine was a nice girl.  She was a couple years older than me.  

Thomas made his own choice.

My words echoed through my head.  Why? Why did Thomas make that choice? Why did he jump in front of the gun?  Couldn't he have easily shoved Nate out of the way before he pulled the trigger?

"I have to go," Elaine said.  She began climbing out the window.  

"Elaine?" I stopped her.  I had to make sure she knew one thing.

"Thomas loved you, remember that."

She nodded and smiled a bit.  And then she was gone.

---

My father hadn't been home for a week now.  I was out of food and money.  Whatever he was up to, I had no idea.  He might have given up on me and left.   But even through all the hardships and hurt we had been to each other, I had a gut feeling that my dad, even my dad, wouldn't do that.

The next morning I decided to call my dad's employer.  He worked for a construction company.  I punched out the numbers on our phone and waited.

Finally, a gruff voice answered.  "Hullo, this is Jeff's construction services, how may I help you?"

"Sir? My father works for your company.  I was wondering if you've seen him? He hasn't been home in a week." I told him.

"What's yer father's name?" 

"Rolf Grove," I said.

"Hey, has anyone seen Rolf around lately?" I heard him call on the other end.  It was almost a minute before the man spoke again.  "Sorry kid, he hasn't been around here since last Friday."

I paused.  My father was gone.  Gone. Gone where?  What if he was hurt?  What if he was lying dead somewhere?  

My hands began to itch and I felt perspiration running down my head.  I had to do something.  

"Thank you," I muttered and hung up the phone.